Monday, March 31, 2008

Phoning It In

Well, not literally - not this time anyway. Though I have been known to text in my posts during NaBloPoMo (it does help when it comes to not being near a computer a little before midnight).

Anywho, today I'm speaking metaphorically, talking about the phrase "Phoned It In". Sadly, I think that's what I've done with this month of blogging, not exactly giving it my best. I had high hopes for NaBloPoMo this month, hoped that it would help me to get my groove back, but it didn't. However, I'm not so sure it's because of or in spite of NaBloPoMo - I'm beginning to think it's me.

I think I've been "phoning in" a lot of things lately:
- My job, to be sure. I think it's a fair bet that I only really work for 4 to 5 hours of an 8 hour day. And sadly, I don't really care all that much - and that can't be good. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm burnt-out, I do like my job, just not lately.

- My friends, sadly. I try to keep up, and email helps, but there are a couple of my friends that I've not seen for a couple of years - and I hate that. And really, email isn't the same - but I don't seem to make the time to call. I'm more in tune with my blogging peeps than anyone else, not that it's bad, but it does make me a bad friend to the others.

- My marriage to a degree. We all go through phases - times when we're less into each other, and we've been through this before, but lately it seems that this phase is taking a lot longer to come out of than before. Of course, the whole baby-making thing puts a crimp in our relationship, but there must be a way to make it good again.

I guess this is a moment that it's good I don't have kids, it would break my heart to put "my child" on that list.

Maybe I should take this moment as a wake up call. So realizing all this and the need for me to make some changes, the next question is how.

Happy last day of NaBloPoMo anyway.

Current Music: Fall Apart Again - Brandi Carlile


Catheroo said...

Thank goodness NaBloPoMo is over. What WERE we thinking? Yay for us for making it through 31 days!

I feel ya on the phoning it in thing. Hopefully this is just a phase all the way around, and you'll be back in fine form soon. And I'll be skipping NaBloPoMo for April, that's for sure.

Lori said...

I have friends I don't talk to or see as often as I should, but life is busy and sometimes there just isn't enough time to fit it all in. So if you can skimp on work and get a full days worth of work done in 5-6 hours, I see nothing wrong with that.

for a different kind of girl said...

Might you mind terribly if I copied and then pasted this entry as my next blog entry?! This captures everything I've been thinking lately. Heck, last night, even though I have no voice at all, I was wailing through the house, arms flailing, whispered haggardness screetching, these very same thoughts. I've got some changes I need to make, and sooner or later, I have to answer the phone.

Anonymous said...

oh, i hear ya, mandy lou. i really do. it's hard to keep up with it all. i have been going thru a similar phase as well.

i didn't know you were trying for a baby! how exciting!!

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