'Cause I'm Dumb That Way

So I'm thinking about doing NaBloPoMo for January, I know it's insane.  But maybe I need a little insanity in my life, since it's been all too real for the last little bit.  Also, I really miss my blog, I feel guilty that it's sitting out there all by itself.  Not to mention the fact that I miss all of you, so I see this as a way to get back in the swing of reading and writing.

The theme for the month is Change, and I think I could really get behind that - change that is.  I've had some change and I need some change (both in the literal and the monetary sense).  I promise not to be too much of a downer, there must be good changes in the near future, right?!

So get ready for way too much Mandy Lou, coming soon to a blog near you.  And in the mean time have a fun/safe/joyous/peaceful/awesomely drunk (take your pick - I'm going with 1, 5 and hopefully some 3) New Year's celebration.

Current Music: Mamma Mia - Abba

It's Been a While

"Forgive me Internet, for I have sinned - it's been a month since my last blog post."

I'm still here. I'd like to tell you that I've just been so busy with the holidays and things, but in reality (with the exception of making a billion holiday cards) I've been reading, watching a lot of tv and generally lazing about.

Since it's been a while I'll give you the highlights:

- Thanksgiving was good, fairly uneventful. But it was the beginning of a downward trend; the stress of buying presents, getting plane tickets to go home for Christmas, thinking about what Christmas would be like without my Dad there, etc.

- A tree almost fell on the house the other day. High winds took out a huge chunk of my favorite tree and missed the house by inches. It did manage to ruin a fair amount of the fence and part of the gutter - but nothing too serious. Happily it happened on the one "warm-ish" day last week so it wasn't too horrible to clean up (not that I did any of it, but I'd hate for the tree guys to freeze).

- I've been in California for the last 6 days, I've done little to nothing and yet barely had time to see friends. Though I can honestly say that I've already had my fill of family and am seriously looking forward to my flight back east.

- It has been grey, rainy and generally shitty weather 5 of the 6 days that I have been home. Apparently California didn't get the memo that I come here for the sun. Also, my Mother has decided that the house is warm enough at 55 degrees. I've been freezing cold for all 6 days - though I'm looking forward to a thaw tomorrow (I guess we turn on the heat for company).

- Since Hanukkah is so late this year, Scott and I are celebrating it here - which is strange, since it's always been our personal celebration, but good strange. My nieces have been learning all about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa at pre-school so they are really digging lighting the candles and playing dreidel, and I think Scott is enjoying sharing it all with them. I'm a bit jealous that it's no longer something that is only ours, but we're all having such a great time creating a new family tradition that I expect I'll get over it.

- Scott and I are on the verge, of what I don't know. But I know that neither of us are handling the stress of losing my Dad, the holidays or the problems of the economy very well. I expect we'll be fine if we can get through another couple of months, but it's making an already bad time even worse.

- Even on that verge of what ever it is, we are seriously starting to consider moving. I have no idea how we will pull it off financially, but if the economy in Michigan continues it's ride to hell in a hand basket then we're loading up the truck (again) and getting out of Dodge (no pun intended, but my Dad would be proud :-). I'm thinking Seattle or Portland, possibly Philly - my only requirements for me are a big city, near water and at least a 1-2 hour plane ride from my family.

- On the Dad front, I'm not really feeling Christmas. I didn't decorate the house, I barely bought any presents, and if my Mom hadn't made me come out to California I doubt that I would have left home.

This sort of sums it up nicely (well except for the warm and fuzzy ending):



And oddly enough, the Grinch was always one of my Dad's favorites, so maybe that's a good sign. I'm hoping for a better Christmas next year - but not holding my breath just yet.

I'm off to bed (it's the only warm spot in the house!) - so I say to you, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and/or Happy Kwanzaa!

Thankful

At first I couldn't think of what to be thankful for today - but then I read all of your comments. So thank you, one and all! Thank you for your advice and support and words of compassion. Once I got to that point, I realized that perhaps there are other things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving day...

I'm thankful that I had such a great dad, one that I can miss and love and be sad about. Wouldn't it be worse if I didn't, isn't it better to mourn all the funny, wonderful little things?

I'm thankful for the family that I have, while they are hurting too - they are loving and supportive. They're crazy and they are a pain in the ass too, but they're mine and that's a good thing.

I'm also thankful for the furry-four-legged members of my family, they have done a great job of keeping me somewhat sane. I put a lot of faith in the power of a purr and a wet puppy nose.

I'm thankful that we all are healthy and relatively happy (you know, except for the moments of crushing grief).

And I'm thankful that Scott and I will have a nice small dinner together tonight, just a quiet day to sit, eat and relax. No traveling across the country with millions of others, stuck in line waiting for some teen-age TSA agent to tell me what I can and can't bring on the plane (I'll save that excitement for Christmas).

As I really got to thinking I realized that there are a ton more that I could think of, but given the fact that they are all relatively shallow I'll leave the list here. And hope all of you have great things to be thankful for and wish you all a wonderful and safe holiday!

Current Music: In My Place - Cold Play

I'm Ok, You're Ok

I have turned into a liar. I don't exactly do it on purpose, but it seems the safe track. See, what happens is people ask how I'm doing, and I say "I'm ok". And the fact of the matter is that I'm not ok, I'm decidedly un-ok. But I really don't want to burden those people with that, they're just trying to be polite. And what do you say to the person who lost her dad?

I've even resorted to telling Scott I'm ok. He knows I'm not, but I know he's tired of asking and hearing the truth, so I lie. My mom asks, and because I know that she's just as broken I lie to her too. Every once and a while I'll tell my sister, but she never really has the time to hear it, and same as my mom she's just as broken.

But if I can't tell anyone, how do I deal with the un-okness of it all? Who do I tell that I hate having to wake up everyday and going into the office when all I really want to do is sit and watch TV or read one of my Dad's books. And if I can't tell any one how un-ok I am how do I get back to being ok?

Current Music: Hope for the Hopeless - A Fine Frenzy

Speaking of Secrets

I was going to wax philosophical about how great Tuesday's BlogSecret was (and it was, don't get me wrong - I loved telling my secret and sending it out there - not to mention reading other people's).

But then I started thinking that this blog is nothing but secret. Hell, I'm sitting right next to my husband, and he has no idea that I'm writing on my blog. He knows I read them, he knows I comment on them, but somehow he's either never considered that I have one or never thought to ask. Now I know Scott's not the brightest, but I also know that I'm not exactly truthful with it when it comes to this blog. Though I wouldn't lie and tell him that I don't have a blog, I certainly would be somewhat evasive if he asked.

So that got me to wondering why I keep this a secret from him. And I don't truly have the answer to that one. I'll have to ponder that.

Current Music: Let Me Out - Ben's Brother

Shhh, it's a Secret

I have a secret for you, and it's really good - and the best part is that it's not mine!

Well before my sister and her husband were married or even dating, he and I went skinny-dipping in a druken stooper one night. We did "hook-up", but that was all. He would "casually" bring it up to me in the following weeks, months and once or twice a year. Once he started dating my sister, it was never discussed again. If she ever found out, I know her marriage and our relationship would be over. It would not matter that it was well before (5 years) they ever got together. He knows about it, I know about it and my best friend knows. We will ALL take it to our graves.

In case you're wondering whose juicy little tidbit that is, the answer is I don't know. Today there are 90 some-odd bloggers taking part in "Blog Secret" a fantastic idea of Nilsa's (feel free to check out the list of participants on her blog). We've all exchanged secrets and are posting them for one another.

So my secret is out there somewhere, and I'm not sure where - and I'm kind of ok with that!

Current Music: Liar - 8mm

H8

A couple of my favorite bloggers (you can read the posts here and here) have tackled this issue recently and then a friend asked me to Join the Impact and help protest against this ridiculous proposition. And I'm happy to join in, since the residents of my former home state surprised and disappointed me greatly, I'm happy to take a moment to say "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU ALL THINKING?!".

Are these people unclear on the fact that almost every time legislation has been enacted to revoke the rights of people, that said legislation has been repealed at some point in future? Are they unclear on the fact that our country was based on expanding rights for one and all and not limiting them?

I realize that many people think that it's abominable for people of the same sex to get married, perhaps you think it's against God or against Allah or just against Nature - you are all allowed to have those opinions, because we live in the United States of America. But because you live in the good old US of A you are also allowed to marry that really cute British guy or marry that sweet Asian girl, Christians can marry Muslims, Jews can marry Atheists - in short we have the right to marry the person we love no matter the skin color, ethnicity or religion. So why can't that right be extended one logical step farther?

Many of you may say, well I don't have a problem with them being together, I just have a problem calling it "marriage" - it would ok to call them "civil unions" or something similar. To those people I say, go back to your Junior High school history books and social studies, and re-read the part about "Separate But Equal". Or do you remember just how well that worked out for our country?

And if we really need any help understanding this whole thing, all we really need to do is go back and take a peek at the Bill of Rights:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

It seems quite clear to me, now if only I can manage to convince the rest of those people.

(Take a peek here to see where it all started and then head over here to join in!)

Current Music: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow - Amy Winehouse

Do You Believe?

So, do you believe in angels? I never really thought I did, maybe I still don't - I'm not sure.

Why do I ask? Because I think I met one today.

I was driving along the river today, and I saw what looked like a Navy ship docked in our little "terminal". I couldn't quite see what it was at 45 miles per hour, so I flipped around and pulled into the parking lot. Even at a stand still I couldn't figure out what type of ship it was (at least I know not to call it a boat anyway). So I grabbed my camera, thinking I'd send it to my Dad and ask him what it was, when I realized that I couldn't (it's those little moments that suck). I took a moment, regrouped and then got out of the car to take some pictures anyway. I figured that I'd show Scott, maybe he would know.

Just as I was getting back in the car a big truck pulled up and an older gentleman waved me over. I figured he needed directions or something, I was wrong. He had seen that I was taking pictures and so he started telling me that the ship had arrived this morning, that it was the recently commissioned USS Freedom, that it was here to be fitted with some of it's artillery at our Coast Guard station. Then he proceeded to tell me about the special coating on the hull and all the other "stealth" features. I started to laugh to myself - this man was telling me all the things that my Dad would have known and would have been telling me!

So today I believe in angels, because today I was having a bad day and today my Dad came to tell me that it was ok.

Current Music: I Have a Dream - ABBA (everyone needs a little ABBA now and then!)

The Morning After

Usually the morning after an election is like any other for me - breakfast, work, lunch, work, home, dinner, bed. Never anything to write home about, just another day - no real changes to speak of. Sure there might have been an election the day before, but nothing had really changed.

Until this morning. This morning I woke up with a sense of excitement, a sense of change - even (dare I say it) a sense of hope.

Sure, there has been plenty of talk about hope, talk about change - and oh, how I wanted to believe it. But I just couldn't let myself. What if I bought into it, only to be let down by the American Public? What if I let my expectations get the best of me?

In the days leading up to the election I started to let my excitement get the better of me, thinking that perhaps the voting public wouldn't let me down yet again. I thought maybe, just maybe the people of the United States could see this candidate for who he is - a smart man, an amazing orator, an inspired leader of communities, a young man with a family, a man who's story is so very American. But I still wondered, could they see all that, see past the color of his skin?

So I put that little spark of hope away. But I kept hearing the buzz, seeing the signs and that little spark kept growing - enough so, that when I went into the elementary school gym to vote yesterday I found myself grinning stupidly. I was actually about to vote for someone, not just vote for the lesser of evils (or worse yet just vote against someone else). I practically skipped out of the polling booth I was so pleased!

When the first results started coming my heart sank. Thank you Kentucky, clearly the nation is not ready to be hopeful again, not ready for change. Thank you New Hampshire for your help, but your 3 electoral votes just aren't going to get us there. Then votes from Pennsylvania came in and I found myself saying, maybe "we can". Then the flood gates seemed to open as state after state turned blue, states that hadn't been blue in a very long time, states that you would never have expected to turn blue (not even if they collectively held their breath) were turning blue. And the spark grew and grew, like the Grinch's heart on Christmas morning.

And now here we are on the morning after. We all have a new President, and I have hope. Hope for our country and it's future - something I've not had for a very long time. I have something else as well, I have pride. I'm so proud of my countrymen and women, I'm proud that we were all able to come together and choose hope, I'm proud that it was the best voter turn out in 45 years, I'm proud that we have all been able to share in such a hugely historic moment.

Current Music: Fanfare for the Common Man - Aaron Copeland (feeling a bit classical today - but seriously, go listen to it. It will give you chills to go with your hope.)

Clocks

I managed to set all my clocks back today. Most of the time, I tend to miss a clock or two - then I end up making myself late by looking at the one clock that I managed to miss.

The best news is that I fixed the strange time-space-continuum thing that was happening in the morning. I would wake up in the morning, and between waking up and getting to the bathroom (about 10 feet away) I would lose six minutes. I would wake up at 6:58am and in the bathroom it would be 7:04.

Right, I know that really, it was just a problem of two clocks being off - but every morning it weirded me out. And yet, I didn't fix it. I even put it on my "to-do" list, and I still didn't fix it. Until today, that is.

So by tomorrow morning the rip in the continuum should be mended, I should be a little more rested since I "gained" my hour and I should be able to get to work in a more timely fashion. Well, two out of three isn't too bad right?

Current Music: No music, I've been clearing off the Tivo today - right now, it's the Amazing Race.

More Ramblings

Have I said I miss you guys lately? Yep - I guess the cloud is lifting a little bit, because I realized it's been ages since I checked in with my little blog world. That's a good sign right? Maybe it's just all the cold weather waking my lazy ass up, who knows.

Things I do know:
- My Dad died a month ago yesterday, and I didn't cry all day - just thought good thoughts and felt really ok with that.

- I am watching way too much TV - well I guess the problem is that I'm not - the Tivo is desperately close to full. But the thing is I didn't really add a lot of shows so I'm not sure if I'm watching slower or Scott is secretly filling the tivo up with his crappy shows or what.

- I am getting addicted to Facebook - it's like a sickness I swear. I've caught up with college friends, high school friends and even some elementary school friends. I even caught up with one of my college flings (it was too short to call a relationship).

- I may have started a strange "flirt-ationship" with the previously mentioned fling - it's kind of fun to reminisce about old times, but strange when the old times were mostly sex.

- My house is a mess. Another thing that happens when you are in a fog for a month, your house goes to hell. I'll be cleaning tonight and much of tomorrow, since we've got company coming on Saturday.

- Scott is my new hero. Yeah, go figure, but my darling hubby has been amazingly helpful and supportive in this whole thing. Doing laundry, taking care of all the fall clean-up stuff, doing the dishes, etc. I realize that most of that list is stuff he normally does but he's done it without me nagging and bitching and that's the wonderful part (that and having clean underwear, because if it had been up to me...).

- I am so not ready for Halloween. I haven't put out any Halloween decorations, though I did manage to get some pumpkins. I did buy some candy, the bad news is that we've pretty much eaten it all.

- I have been freezing my ass off the last couple of days. In my denial of fall, haven't gotten out the big down comforter or any of my sweaters, the result being permanently cold unless I'm attached to my space heater under my desk.

- My iPod is woefully out of date, so I've been listening to Yahoo radio at work - it's not too bad.

- We took some time to go look at the fall colors on Sunday and had a great day. It's nice to know that great days are still out there.


I guess that's all I know for sure, but it's not a bad start really.

Current Music: Outside - Aqualung

Still Broken

"There should be a statute of limitations on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after forty-two days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school portrait as you pass - if only because it cuts you fresh to see it. That it is okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays."

My Sister's Keeper
Jodi Picoult

Today would have been the 2nd anniversary for my Dad's new heart. That sort of sucks.

I'm still here, but still broken. I haven't had any good days, most days are okay at best and some days are just pain bad. Strangely enough, work days tend to be better - even as much as I'm disliking my job these days. It seems that weekends are just to open and empty - easy for my brain to get lost in the pain.

Obviously I am not doing NaBloPoMo - it did seem like a good idea at the time, but I just couldn't do it to you guys. You have no idea how many posts I've tried to write, but they were all such serious downers (they made me more depressed and that ain't easy) I couldn't bear to post them. Trust me, you'll thank me for it one day.

Yesterday was Scott's birthday and I almost forgot it completely! I managed to pull it off by making his favorite cake and one of his favorite dinners - and got him a couple of movies. I'm not sure how long I get to use the "Dead Dad" excuse, but it worked for now.

On the upside of things - the grief diet is good, though eating as much fast food as we've been eating can't be good in the long run. And I'm getting into the office earlier, since I can't sleep much.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - I'll get back to reading and commenting on blogs (I miss you all!) and twitter as well. As everyone keeps telling me, it's all just a matter of time.

Sorry for the big bunch of randomness, but it seems to be par for the course lately.

Current Music: I'm watching the debate, which is as depressing as this post.

If it's Wednesday it Must be Nebraska

Well we're back - and we're sooooo very tired.

We left Oakland at 1pm on Tuesday and arrived home this morning at 8am - so if we do the math it means we were on the road for, well a long time anyway.

Scott and I took it in shifts, sleeping and driving and eating - but we made it through. Happily that means that either of us missed a fair amount of the country due to unconsciousness or darkness, sadly though we did see most of the boring stuff.

We hit tons and tons of one-lane closures through California, Nevada, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois and Michigan. So that means that the only states we didn't have to slow down to 55mph was Utah and Indiana (which were the two shortest states of course). In fact we probably could have made better time if we hadn't hit so much construction.

Dad's little car did really well across the country - even though it was insanely fast it was a fun trip.

In case you weren't sure, I've decided to do NaBloPoMo - not that you weren't fascinated by my cross-country pictures. I'm thinking that keeping myself distracted for a while would be a very god thing. And my Dad was a huge fan of my photo-a-day at Photoblog, so it seems like a good thing.

Current Music: catching up on my Tivo, I have been gone for a bit.

H-E-double L

I've found a new level of hell today. It's the "Stuck going 55 miles an hour in construction for practically the entire state of Nebraska (which seems to be the longest state EVER)."

Now I've got to figure out how to get it added to the book - since Nebraska wasn't around when Dante was figuring the original.

One Down

Just over Donner Summit. So we're almost out of California - that just leaves 8 more states to go.

The Looking-Glass Room

"She was up on the chimney-piece while she said this, though she hardly knew how she had got there. And certainly the glass was beginning to melt away, just like a bright silvery mist...In another moment Alice was through the glass, and had jumped lightly down into the Looking-glass room...Then she began looking about, and noticed that what could be seen from the old room was quite common and uninteresting, but that all the rest was a different as possible."

Through the Looking Glass (And What Alice Found There)
Lewis Carroll

That's been my life since Monday - common, but as different as possible. One minute we're joking and laughing, the next crying inconsolably. The crying usually comes when I realize that he's gone, the laughing when we think of a good time or funny memory.

The hard moments are when I go to ask Dad about something, where does he keep the flags, or did he remember to tivo the new Grey's Anatomy? And then I realize that there's no one to ask.

The service was lovely - you should have seen how many people turned out - people he knew from work, people from his transplant team and support group, tons of friends and family. I can only hope to be that lucky when it's my turn.

We've taken care of all the mundane and horrible things that need to be done, the autopsy, the services, the cremation, the "final resting place". It's sort of like trying to put together a wedding in three days, only you can't concentrate because your brain isn't working right and you're crying all the time.

There is a bit of good news, if it can be considered good news, his transplant team decided to request an autopsy. His passing was not due to his transplant, the heart was as good as it could have been - it was a pulmonary embolism. So perhaps September 22 was the number no matter what. I guess the good news is that I can stop being mad at the transplant team now - and just go on being mad at the universe.

As much as I needed to see my family, hug my Mom, kiss my Nieces, cry with my Sister and Brother-in-Law and sit with my Uncles and Aunts - I now need to go home. I need to get back to my house, where the pain is less real and somehow softer. I need to get away from the bickering (I don't care if we order a vegetable platter for the wake), the decision making (I really don't care if my Dad is in a bronze box or a marble box - what I really want is to not have to put him in a box) and the tears of others. I need my time to grieve and see how truly deep the wound is and how, if it's possible, to heal it.

I'm pondering taking on NaBloPoMo for October, just as a way to keep my mind busy - but I haven't committed to it yet. In other odd/interesting news, my Mom wants us to take his car (both of ours are old and getting a bit out of shape - and she doesn't really want to deal with it), so we may be driving across country in a day or two. That's gonna be one wild ride!

And thank you all (my legion of devoted readers) for your kind thoughts. Friends make anything easier to bear.

Current Music: The Funeral - Band of Horses

The Number is Up

A while ago I wrote about my Dad's days being numbered - today his number came up. My Dad is gone.

I was about to walk out the door for work when my sister called. Now it's never a good thing if my sister is up at 6:30am (on so many levels), so I wasn't expecting anything good - but I wasn't expecting this. How do you prepare yourself for that?

He hadn't been feeling well for a while, he'd been light headed and short of breath and he went to the clinic (the special post-transplant clinic that took care of him) - but both times he went they said they couldn't figure out what the problem was and they sent him home. He was having problems, but we didn't expect this.

I'm trying to remember that these last two years, since his transplant have been borrowed time - just extra, special time. But mostly I'm just in shock and feeling incredibly lost.

We're headed home to California for a week to take care of my Mom. Thankfully my sister has done what she does best- she took charge of everything and most of the basic details are covered. I'll be gone for a bit, but I'll be back.

Current Music: Solitude - Billie Holiday

Blocked Up

Not dead, not stuck without power post-hurricane, not trapped in a box by a serial killer. Just Blogger-block.

I am lacking anything for anything funny, witty, interesting or otherwise "blog worthy". Mostly I've just been a big old Debbie Downer. But my horoscope said:

This would be a perfect week to spend some time alone.

And so far it's been right. It has poured rain, there's been sunny days, the cats have been crazy, the dog is filthy, the husband is his usual PITA (pain in the ass) self and work is as spectacular as it always is. That's been my week.

My current bright and shiny moment is the purchase of two new shades of OPI polish. The new fall collection is absolutely awesome, and now "Yes I Can-Can" and "You Don't Know Jacques" are mine (and I'm pondering buying another one or two).

Sort of sad when the high point of your week is nail polish, but you take it where you can get it.

I Remember...

I remember waking up to the news on the radio and wondering what was going on.

I remember waking Scott up, screaming and crying over the things I was seeing on the television screen.

I remember watching in horror as the towers collapsed under their own weight.

I remember thinking that the whole country seemed to be under attack.

I remember going to work, but not wanting to leave the car for fear I would miss something on the news.

I remember wondering if my Uncle was in D.C. for work, and feeling selfishly thankful that he no longer had an office in the Pentagon.

I remember hearing that another plane was missing and later hearing that it had crashed en route to Washington.

I remember being glued to the television, absorbing the images of destruction and heroism.

I remember seeing video of people streaming from Manhattan.

I remember sitting with my friends in the evening worried about loved ones and feeling guilty for being safe on the west coast.

I remember lighting candles at night for all the lost souls and those that were trying so hard to recover them.

I remember how strange it was to not hear or see planes in the sky for days.

I remember feeling so injured by the attack on my country even though it didn't actually touch my life as closely as it did others.

If you didn't read this last year, it's a good story.

Current Music: Stronger - Kanye West

I Wonder

I wonder about a lot of things - some are big, some are small. For lack of anything better to post, here are some things that I've been wondering about.

• I wonder how I manage to get so many little injuries on my body on a day to day basis.
• I wonder how I'm going to make it through to November with all the politics, it's already killing me and there is still sooooo long to go.
• I wonder how I managed to missed so much of summer. It's September and the only tan I have is out of a bottle.
• I wonder how much longer I can keep my job, not because I'm going to get fired but because my boss drives me nuts and makes me want to quit on a day to day basis.
• I wonder how I can continue find a way to get a housekeeper once a week, since I have managed to been a really crap-tastic house keeper (and we all know what a great housekeeper Scott is).
• I wonder how much longer I can "keep up with the Jonses", it's so hard to have rich friends (not that they are difficult about it, it's all me).
• I wonder why so many birth control commercials have swimming pools in them - what is that about?
• I wonder if it's ever too early to start becoming the crazy cat lady.
• I wonder if the right pair of shoes really can make the day better - sometimes I think it's absolutely possible.
• I wonder how much Law & Order I can watch before my brain turns to mush.
• I wonder how much longer I can stay in this state and keep my sanity.
• I wonder how I can get a Wii Fit.
• I wonder why I Tivo'd Hole in the wall - I am so dumb.
• Oh yeah, and I wonder why I got my hair cut - I don't mind the 4 to 5 inches she took off the back, but I'm unsure as to why I let her put the evil bangs back. Seriously, I am dumb.

Of course there's more, but really how much are you really wondering about what I'm wondering about?

Numbers

Not much new to report, just odds and ends. So I thought I'd give you a run down in numbers:

17 - The number of years that Scott and I have been together, as of today. Yep it's the anniversary of our first date (which was supposed to be a one night stand - obviously I am not clear on the concept of one night stand).

8 - The number of times I've listened to Duffy's Warwick Avenue since Monday.

4 - The hour of the morning that I finally dragged my sorry butt home the other night. It's fun to go out drinking with co-workers after a late night at the restaurant, it's even more fun if you don't have to stop drinking at last call because it's the bar you work in and the bartender is there drinking with you.

9 - The number of days that it's taken for this sunburn on my back to stop hurting and itching.

3 - The number of days that Scott has been mad at me since I came home at 4:30am (sure, I left at 4, but it took a half an hour to get home).

10 - The number of times I've apologized for not calling and coming home so late. Even though I'm not really all that sorry.

6 - The number of loads of laundry Scott has done while sighing heavily and rolling his eyes - his way of telling me that I should be doing the laundry, not him

2 - The number of birthday cards I need to make for birthdays that I missed.

11 - The number of magazines I've looked through lately looking for a good haircut (number found is zero).

5 - The number of Double Stuff Oreos I had in place of breakfast.

12 - The number of times I've had squirt vile pink medicine down my cat's throat since Wednesday. The good news is that we're almost done, the bad news is that I think the cat is plotting something.

7 - The number of times one of my clients has called in the last two days to find out when his tile would be in.

1 billion - The numbers of typos I've made today, seriously having typing issues.

Current Music: Heartbeat - Scouting for Girls

Pop Quiz

Today we have a multiple choice quiz, let's see how you do...

1. It's Monday, you've left work early to get your hair done, but that leaves some extra time when you get back. Once you get home do you:
    A. Start the ginormous pile of laundry that needs doing.
    B. Get on line and do some blogging ('cause you are really behind).
    C. Sit on the deck in the sun, read a book and have a glass of wine.
    D. Work on the cards that you've been needing to get done for ages.

2. Tuesday rolls around, you have to take the cat to the vet and go grocery shopping. But after all that you've got a little more time, so do you:
    A. Do the laundry that you still haven't done.
    B. Weed the garden, it's over run (again).
    C. Curl up on the sofa with the sick kitty and watch TV.
    D. Do the work you took home to do.

3. Happy Hump-day! Your boss made you want to run screaming from the building, so you did - an hour early. Should you:
    A. Do the laundry, it's still on the hall floor.
    B. Sit around playing on the laptop and watching the Olympics.
    C. Go for hot dogs and a movie with your husband.
    D. Medicate the sick cat then go to bed.

4. It's Thursday, the weekend is in your sights, but you've got a ton of work to (from leaving early all week). You could:
    A. Still do the laundry, it hasn't magically done it's self.
    B. Make your husband a lavish meal in true June Cleaver fashion.
    C. Work late and get things done, but be really pissy about it.
    D. Clean up the two piles of cat puke that you found down stairs.

If you answered C to each question, then you had the same week I did - see, it doesn't always suck to be me.

If you answered B or D to each question, way to get things done!

If you answered A to each question there's still plenty of laundry here for you to do, come on over (I still have wine left from Monday).

Current Music: It's Five O'Clock Somewhere - Alan Jackson

"Thinking of You"

I love to make cards, but I've never made a Sympathy card. I've always just gone and bought one when I needed one. I mean, who wants to have those around - it seems like borrowing trouble. Not the mention the fact that I hate Sympathy cards - they never really say what you are thinking. But then, given the circumstances, what can you say?

I made my first sympathy card today. I had to make it, it was to send my condolences to a family that just lost their infant daughter, not yet three months old. Hallmark doesn't make a card for that, do they.

All I could say was "Thinking of You" - because that much is true. I am thinking of them, thinking how unfair it is for such a horrible thing to happen to such nice people. I'm thinking that I'm angry that a sweet little baby had to leave this planet way too soon.

But what else could I say? I couldn't say that the universe sucks and there is no way that they should have to be going through this. I couldn't say that what ever deity they believe in has let them down by not answering the prayers of many who had hoped that she would recover from her fall. I couldn't say that they would be okay, is anyone ever okay after the death of a child?

So I'll think of them, and maybe I can bear some of their sorrow, because right now they have too much to bear.

Current Music: Wasted - Brandi Carlile

What's New

My guilt over my neglected blog has gotten the better of me. Alas, I don't have much to report. I've had a ton of random things running about in my head, some of them might be blog worthy, maybe just I wasn't feelin' it this week.

But in case you were interested...

• Scott is the biggest hypochondriac (I blame his very Jewish mother). He had a headache the other day, which he then decided must be a migraine (even though he has never had one before). I suggested that perhaps - since he was describing his symptoms as headache, backache, nausea and fatigue - that he may have a flu. He immediately decided that was it and went home for the day. Near as I can tell, he didn't have either.
  


• I went to a horse camp on Saturday (just to pick up, not to stay) - that was interesting, in a boring, horsey kind of way. On the plus side of things I got to see a llama with a very unusual under bite. I'm not sure if there's much call for orthodontia in farm animals, but if there is this place has a patient!


• The Olympics are starting soon, so TV is over for a while. Though it does give me an excuse to go do the gardening I've been neglecting all summer. Oh and maybe read a book.
  


• I may have to buy a mouth guard to wear to work - every time one of my bosses starts talking to me I start grinding my teeth. And even if it doesn't help my teeth, maybe it will keep me from saying something to them that I might regret.


• I spent the better part of an hour trying to return a bra at Victoria's Secret today. Yes, very young manager chick, I realize that wore it and that's bad. But your sales lady told me that I wouldn't fall out of the top of it - and I did, at work. So I would like a different bra please, preferably one that I don't fall out off in front of clients. Is that too much to ask for?


• While I was at Victoria's Secret I decided to placate the young manager chick and I bought some new underwear (5 for $25 is a pretty good deal, right?). I now have sayings like "I kissed the quarterback" and "team pink spirit" on my underwear. I think I may have reached the point in my life where I should stop buying underwear, and maybe bras, at Victoria's Secret.


• Due to peer pressure, I've joined Facebook. I have no idea what to do next.

Anything else you guys need to know?

Current Music: Trucker Hat - Bowling for Soup

Any Port In A Storm

I was driving a lot today - I had a bunch of things to do for clients, so I figured I'd get it all done at once. But I was feeling a bit lost, a bit disconnected, missing people and places long gone.

As I drove, I passed a number of different cemeteries, and "Memorial Parks" - it got me thinking about the fact that my Grandmother is buried so far away. I thought about the fact that I couldn't stop and sit by her grave and talk to her, I couldn't tell her what's new or anything that was going on with me. Then I thought, well why do I have to be there - why can't I just pull into any of these cemeteries - will any "body" do? Why do we feel the need to sit by "our person" - when we know that they aren't really there, just what is left of them?

So I tried it - I parked and sat on a bench and thought about all those people, pets and places that I don't get to see, or talk to, or go to. And I talked to those random people there instead of my people - and it was ok. In fact in some ways it was better.

I could tell those folks lying there all about how I miss being a little kid hanging out with my Grandmother, or how I wish I had known my Grandfather better. I told them all about how I think of and miss my friends that died of cancer. I told them how I miss all those pets that made my life a better place and are gone now. They learned about all the friends that I left behind when I moved and how I miss the place I grew up and lived for so many years. And it was nice.

Maybe I'll get a chance to go and talk to my people soon, but for now these people will do.

Current Music: Eulogy - The Hereafter

Ohio Magnetism

No really, Ohio speaks to me (and not just through blogs). It must, because what else could explain my third trip to the Buckeye State in two months?

I can honestly say that I have never been to any state (that I haven't lived in) as many times as I've been to Ohio (well, there's Florida - but once was for business and once for a funeral, so let's not count those). So why do I keep going to Ohio this summer? Is it really "the heart of it all"? Am I just drawn to the giant Longaberger Basket? Perhaps I am destined to move to Ohio and do great things, or not.

I suppose trips to Ohio (or at least through Ohio) are pretty much a foregone conclusion living in Michigan - there's really no other way out (unless I go through Canada, which really would be the long-way round to most places - well, except to Canada). But still - it does seem odd to be headed back there again...

Current Music: Ohio - Bowling for Soup

Another Open Letter

Dear Bosses Wife,

Do you find it fairly hypocritical that you told me I should wear a tank top under my shirt because my bra was showing?

Seeing as how you are the one that usually has your bra strap showing. Not to mention the low cut tank tops that you wear at least once or twice a week (and that your boobs regularly fall out of). I realize that your husband is a "boob man" (it might be why I got the job) and that you mostly just work in the back and don't see clients, but is it really fair to say that I should cover the gap in my shirt?

I will grant the fact that the shirt was a bit tight and I could have made a better bra choice, I will also grant that we are "friends" (in the loose work sense) and maybe you thought you were being helpful. But I still say you're a hypocrite.

Thank you for your time,
Irritated well-dressed Employee.

Current Music: Amy Winehouse - Fuck Me Pumps

And I'm Back...

As Mark Twain said, "Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated".

Mostly I've been recovering from a three day drunk-fest, and then getting back into the normal grind of regular life. That's the part that sucks - the real life part, not the drunk fest part.

So let's see, when last I posted I had just returned from the big Gay Ho-Down and the Honky Tonk Queen contest. I did promise you a video, so here is one of the "past queens", I'm happy to report that the newly crowned queen was even better than this "gal" - which I suppose is not really a stretch.



Directly after my second round on the Ohio turnpike (which was magical) I worked for a week then set off into the annual Mackinac Race week routine. The parade, Family Night, Boat Night, and then the actual race. Scott set sail for the island and I hit the road (oh yeah, again) to pick him up. So four days, seven bruises, too many drinks to count and one good sunburn later and we're back to regular life.

Anyway - I'll get back into my groove, maybe do another NaBloPoMo ('cause that's always fun - ha!).

Current Music: Let Me Out - Ben's Brother

Rockin' Out!

All right, so my girl KimmyK didn't tag me for this, but I thought I might do it anyway. Then Katie was all "you gotta do it", so being the one to bow to peer pressure here's the music meme...

Instructions: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

I will preface this as Kimmy did, I listen to a lot of different types of music, so there's a bit of everything in here (well, I didn't put any classical in) - but no matter what they are, they're fun summer tunes that make me smile! Take any of these to the beach and you'll love them.

American Boy - Estelle Love this one, fast slow little bit of everything

Good Life - Kanye West Summer is all about the good life, right - so duh!

Here for the Party - Gretchen Wilson Alright this is a new one for me, but it really works (thanks to the reigning Honky Tonk Queen for turning me on to this one - check back tomorrow for more on the Honky Tonk Queen)

Summertime - Will Smith Yeah, again, duh (old school I know, but still good)

New Shoes - Paolo Nutini I've got to find a way to get shoes in somewhere :-)

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problems - Kenny Chesney He can sit with no shirt or shoes with me any day!

It's Love - Chris Knox Heard this one on a Heineken commercial and loved it - took a bit to find it, but it's super!

There's a ton more that I can't live without, but these were the ones that keep popping up in my recently played list.

As you know I don't actually know seven people and two of the people that I do know have already done it, so the rest of you can consider yourself tagged if you are so inclined!

Current Music: Heartbreaker - Will.I.Am

Happy Independence Day!

None who have always been free
can understand the terrible
fascinating power of the hope of
freedom to those who are not free.
— Pearl S. Buck

Happy Fourth of July to one and all!

Current Music: The Liberty Bell March - John Philip Sousa (no really, it's my Dad's cell phone ring)

Hitting the Road (again)

Yep, I've got the road in my blood now - can't wait to get out again!

Ok, not really, but when my mom gave me the dates for her trip I didn't realize that they fell so close to the date that I was supposed to meet some friends (this weekend). And next weekend is the big sailboat race in town and I'm off on another vacation! No rest for the wicked...

So on Saturday I have to get back on the road, this time to Cleavland - that's right I'm headed for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and a Gay Rodeo (you can't say I don't know how to have a good time). I'll be hitting the road first thing Saturday morning and returning to my quiet little burg on Sunday evening. In between all that is the Rock and Roll Hall of fame, a contest for "Queen of the Rodeo" (and I don't mean in the royal sense) and some other stuff that I'm sure will be very interesting.

I only ever get to see these friends once a year, so when they called to say they were going to be in my neck of the woods (roughly, if you can call a 4 hour drive in my neck of the woods) I said sure - I'll meet you! Now I'm sort of regretting it, though I'm sure it will be fun. And probably a fairly good photo op.

So that's a wrap for me - end of visit (mom leaves tomorrow), end of June, end of NaBloPoMo and end of sanity for a while. Peace out!

Current Music: listening to the sweet stylings of a sad old printer because I forgot to bring my iPod to work

3 Days (well, one and a half)

"Fish and visitors smell in three days."
-Benjamin Franklin

Such a wise man, founds a country and realizes that visiting friends and family suck.

Part of me really hates to say that about my mom - after all, she is my mom and she has lots of awesome characteristics. But the bigger part of me says "remember, this is why you moved half way across the country dummy".

Tomorrow I get to go to work - which I don't really want to do, but it means that I don't have to be here listening to her go on and on about all the stuff she goes on about (if I have to hear the story of her making pudding for my niece again I may actually rip my own ears off). Other than that I am not looking forward to getting back into the office - I'm never sure what is worse, leaving for vacation or coming back (in reality it all sucks).

The good news for Scott is that he's stuck home with her tomorrow - all right, so it's not good news for him, but it is good for me :-) Well, since she loves him more that makes it less bad for him!

So it's t-minus 2 days for mom's visit and NaBloPoMo. Won't you be glad not to see my little rant-y posts not showing up in your readers?

Current Music: catching up on tivo, a little "Good Eats"

Nice work

It's not easy, carrying all this amazing food around when you're hungry.

Safe and Sound

Well, we're home - safe and sound, mostly anyway. My mom nearly passed out again, this time was we looked over Niagara Falls, it could have gone so very wrong. It didn't though.

Mentally I'm sure we're all a bit unsound. As soon as we got home (after fighting traffic to get back into the states and picking up the dog at the kennel) we all pretty much went to our corners to have a little "alone time". That's what I'm doing now in fact :-)

Tomorrow I have to work in the evening, but before then I need to return the rental car, drag Mom to the Library and then stop and take a look at the Tall Ships that are in town for the weekend. Really looking forward to work tomorrow!

Current Music: Work That - Mary J. Blige

Is It Over Yet?

Is this "vacation" over? Is NaBloPoMo over? Are we done yet? 'Cause I am!

One more day of road trip to go - the good news is that it's the drive back home, the bad news is that it's the drive back home and I still have 4 days left to "visit" with my mom when we get back.

I guess the real good news is that I don't have to drive for nine hours and then go work in the restaurant. And the actual bad news is that I have to go back to work on Monday, and I expect that there will be all kinds of crap involved with that.

On the asshole husband front - I made him swear up and down that he would not blow his top about traffic or getting lost if he picked out the route. I picked out the route and when he started to get peeved because of a detour I reminded him of his promise and low and behold he actually kept his temper in check. I'm floored.

On the mother front - she almost passed out in Independence Hall due to heat stoke. Happily, she recovered, we checked out a few more things and then hi-tailed it out of Philly. Sadly, we did not get to be on the news or add to the amazing history of the place by having her pass out.

Only a few more days of blogging left too - hang in there, we're almost home!

Oh, Now I Remember

Years and years ago we were in Club Med and one of the ladies there was vacationing without her husband or kids. According to her, it's what they did. One family vacation then one vacation for him and one for her.

And my parents don't travel together, not because they are divorced (even though they should be) but because they don't travel well together. So they choose to travel separately - which is why Mom is here now and Dad is home.

Every time we travel together I remember that I hate traveling with Scott. He gets pissy if I want to do something that he doesn't, he hates it when I want to stop to take a picture, and he completely comes unhinged if we get stuck in traffic/lost/or are the victim of bad directions (the internet kind - don't start thinking that he actually stops to ask for directions). And don't even get me started on plane travel (the only bright side of that is that it's mercifully short).

Oh sure, the vacation sex is always fun; and once we get to a destination or get done doing something I want to do his mood improves. But the traveling part kind of sucks.

Someone please remind me of that the next time I say I'm thinking about a vacation!

It's The Thought That Counts, Right?

I sent in my pitiful NaBloPoMo post on the phone last night and apparently it didn't go through. I really didn't say much - so you didn't really miss much. But I say this counts for Monday and Tuesday!

Day three of the trip, we're headed off to Gettysburg today, should be good for the hour or two - then I'll be bored out of my skull. But, according to Scott and my mom, not everything is about me - who knew?! My uncle is driving up from Virginia to join us, that should be, um, interesting. He's beyond preachy and pedantic, but he's family so what are you going to do? No matter which way you look at it, it is going to be a long day.

Yesterday we checked out the National Civil War Museum in Harrisburg, and wandered around Hershey. It's true, the street lights really are shaped like kisses - so cute. We checked out the Hotel Hershey and it's lovely 1930's interiors and the Hershey Gardens (those were my picks of course). A good day all in all.

BTW, yes John Corbett is not just a pretty face, the music was pretty good. Yes, he does seem like a regular guy - he drinks Corona or Jack and soda (with lime), and he likes to pick up cute girls (mostly brunettes if that helps!). Pretty regular guy, right?!

Current Music: Mercy - Duffy

Already on history overload -

Already on history overload - tomorrow Gettysburg. Woo freakin' hoo!

Awesome!

I had to work both Friday and Saturday nights at the restaurant, I always work when there's a show. Normally I would say that it sucks - but not in this case, because this weekend's show was the John Corbett Band! It's always a lot more fun to work when the show is good. But wait, it gets better..

The shows ran so long that we were allowed to slip into the theater and watch (service in the restaurant was done and the bar was stocked and ready for the after-show party) - not just listen in the bar (with a wall in between). Then, once the show was out the band came in to hang out in the bar. Sadly I had to serve drinks all night, but I got to make sure that all the band members had drinks. I didn't get tipped in cash, but I did get tipped with a cheek kiss and a little snuggely hug - AWESOME!

Oh yeah - I got that tip two nights in a row, he is nothing if not consistent (oh and cute, and tall and pretty yummy).

In other news:
- The concert was really good - he's not just a pretty face.
- You might think that standing back stage and looking at his "good side" is great, and it is!
- There was a big down side - I worked till 2:30am both nights and am currently working on about hours of sleep in 48 hours.
- The vacation has arrived and I am in PA - getting ready to do the history thing with Mom and Scott (thank goodness for wi-fi at this hotel - take that NaBloPoMo).

More on the "vacation" later...

OMG John Corbett just kissed

OMG John Corbett just kissed me on the cheek! More later :-)

We Interupt Your Regular Program...

It's a wonder that I can ever get anything done around here.

I got into the office at 9:30am and I have been interrupted no fewer than 12 times for totally BS things. It's now 1pm and I've gotten nothing done (not to mention the crimp that it's put in reading my personal email and blogs, etc.) - and I have to leave at 2:45 for my appointments.

Of course I have a ton of stuff to do to get out of here on Sunday and a bunch of appointments too. I guess I'm going to have to be in the office a bit tomorrow! So now the question is when am I going to pack?

Current Music: These Streets -Paolo Nutini

Strike!

My girl KimmyK is the smartest girl in the universe! She suggested I go on strike. That way I could just blog away and visit all my peeps and enjoy myself - the way it was intended! And I totally would, except...

1. Striking does not pay well - actually, neither of my jobs pay particularly well, so I guess that's not really a very good argument.

2. I've tried it before, and it doesn't work. What tends to happen in the battle of wills I lose - my ability to handle the grossness is lacking compared to Scott's. Well, he's a guy of course he can handle more gross than I can!

3. Guilt. While I was not raised either Catholic or Jewish I have enough guilt to give any of those kids a run for their money. I know that my mom won't actually care about how clean my house is. I know that there's no NaBloPoMo police - that I don't have to post every day. I know that every single one of my clients isn't going to call when I'm gone - so I don't need to leave notes on every file. But I feel like I should, so I do.

And in housekeeping news - progress has been made...

Yesterday, when Scott told me he was going to stay home I told him to fold the laundry that had been sitting for three days - I didn't hint, I didn't ask, I told him. AND IT WORKED!

Today, he asked what he could do to help, and he looked at the To-Do list and he actually ta-did! Now, he only did half the laundry, dusted, swept and vacuumed the floors - but as you'll recall I only expected that he would maybe vacuum. So I'll consider that progress!

We'll see what happens tomorrow, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Current Music: We're All In This Together - Ben Lee

Housekeeping

Or perhaps the lack there of... My house is a complete mess and my mother is arriving on Sunday. The good news is that we are picking her up at the airport and hitting the road for our trip to PA, so technically she won't be seeing our house till the following Friday - but it still needs to be cleaned before we leave to go get her.

That means that between now and Sunday at 7am I need to:
wash down the kitchen cabinets
clean the kitchen counters
excavate the mess on the dinning room table
clean both bathrooms
napalm the shower (I'm not sure there's anything else that will clean it)
do a bunch of laundry (all the guest sheets and towels apparently became a cat bed)
sweep and mop all the floors
dust
vacuum

oh, and pack

And that's just at home, I still have to get the dog to the kennel, pick up the rental car (I'm not putting all those miles on my little car) and get everything at work ready for my absence. And I haven't even started thinking about how I'm going to deal with NaBloPoMo while I'm gone - I think you should prepare yourselves for short mobile phone posts. Oh, and I'm working at the restaurant Friday and Saturday night. I'm tired just thinking about it all.

You may ask how many things on this list Scott is taking care of, the answer my friends is probably one - vacuuming. Somehow the interior of our home is my domain, while he takes care of the outside (and when I say outside I mean lawn, not garden - that's my problem too). That's right I'm going to take care of that big ass list of things to do and he's going to sit on his riding mower for an hour or two - totally seems fair.

Every once and a while I wonder what it would be like to have a husband that actually helped out - but then it makes me wonder how many of them actually exist (and aren't secretly gay). Maybe one of these days I'll realize that the fairy tales don't really come true and get back to doing the laundry.

Current Music: Nolita Fairytale - Vanessa Carlton

Lost Again

We tivo'd the season finale of Lost, last year. And then we tivo'd all of this season - start to finish. I'm still not sure why we waited until now to to start watching it, but we did. Maybe it's the fall like weather or the fact that we're trying to clear off the tivo a bit, whatever the reason - we're doing it.

So, last year's season finale and three hours into this year's season and I'm just as lost as I was when we stopped watching it a year ago. Oh Snap - maybe that's why it's called Lost (I always figured that it was because they were all lost on an island). Don't get me wrong, I still love the show, but I think I love it because I'm in a constant state of confusion! Does that make sense?

Don't tell me what happens, just tell me if it start to makes sense...

Current Music: dude, I just told you I'm watching Lost.

Huh...

Kind of out of words today. This is one of the problems with NaBloPoMo - sometimes there are only so many vaguely good posts in a person. As of today I may have run out.

In reality it was just a serious Monday, that followed a sub-par weekend - add a case of PMS (yeah, again - seriously I think I have PMS two weeks a month) and lack of sleep and it really adds up to a crap-tastic day.

The good news is that I should be able to look forward to a better night of sleep tonight, given the fact that it's cool out and Scott won't have to run the air conditioner ALL NIGHT LONG (insert Lionel Richie clip here). Also with a little help from my friend Midol served up with a side of Ho-Hos I should be slightly less crabby (and when I say crabby I mean super bitch-o-rama).

Perhaps I'll be able to find some more exciting words tomorrow.

Current Music: Sociopath - Anya Marina

Late Night

Here's the top ten reasons why I shouldn't watch late night TV (and why I love tivo).

1. Are there really lots of singles waiting to talk to me?

2. When did Trojan start making vibrators and how are they allowed to advertise them on TV?

3. Ice cream tastes better before you brush your teeth.

4. Viva Viagra!

5. Do male enhancement creams really work?

6. Wine does not make any of these commercials funnier, thought it does help with sleeping.

7. Why do commercials for "feminine products" always have to be so peppy?

8. Where is the closest Sonic - and do they have anything besides dumb people in their cars?

9. Ice cream and wine after midnight gives me heartburn.

10. David Letterman isn't as funny as he used to be.

Current Music: no music, just bad late night TV.

Never Had A Doubt

So, I just did the best thing EVER. I used my new Ped Egg. It. Was. Awesome.

I had seen the infomercial and thought "well, maybe". Then I thought back to my "Ab Roller", and decided that it was probably crap (like the stuff in most other infomercials). So I decided against ordering one (even though I really, really wanted one).

Then not long ago, my girl FADOKG waxed poetic about her new Ped Egg - and I have to say I was intrigued. And of course, now that I had a credible review I could go out and buy one.

Not long after that, Scott and I were watching TV and the commercial popped up again. I said that I was going to order one, that I was really excited about it. He, of course, said it was a dumb idea and he was sure it wasn't going to work. So, my hopes and dreams of smooth feet were dashed and I decided not to order one (even though it was two for the price of one!) again.

Then today, as I strolled through Target, I saw it there. Shining like a beacon on an end cap (between the kitchen utensils and the dog food), there was my Ped Egg. I couldn't help myself - it was fate or kismet or both - what ever it was, I had to have it.

So I'm not ready for a guest shot on the infomercial just yet - but a few more times with this little bad boy and I'll be ready the foot loose and fancy free days of summer.

Current Music: Think I'm In Love - Beck

As Good As It Gets

It's 5 minutes till Midnight, I've just arrived home from the restaurant and mowed down some Taco Bell - and I'm worried about NaBloPoMo. I hope they appreciate this level of dedication, some how I think they don't...

Current Music: me humming "Story Weather", it's not all that good.

There's No Place Like Home

There's a saying, "Home is where your Mom is." That means that as of now, my home is in California. And I will say that that's very true, even after four years I still feel that my home is out there. But if home is where your Mom is then, Michigan is going to be home for a bit - 'cause Mom's headed this way.

She's headed in for a week and a bit of vacation - we're doing a driving trip to Pennsylvania (you know doing the history thing) and then back home for a little visiting and then she leaves. Should be long and painful, with highlights of fun.

I jest, sort of. It should be fun. I've never been to Philly and I hear there are good cheese steaks and there's an old bell with a crack in it - good times. We're going to hit Hershey, PA on the way - just cause there's chocolate there. Then I'm not sure what, Gettysburg, Yorktown and on to Philly? We'll go where the toll road takes us...

So I guess this means that home is going to be in Pennsylvania for a bit too!

Current Music: Country Roads - Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

Happy Birthday Pop!

Today is my Dad's 67th birthday - and I wish I could be celebrating it with him. Ever since his heart transplant I've felt like each Birthday, Christmas, or vacation is a blessing - but I worry that if I'm not there for this one, will there be another?

I know it's morbid, but due to the transplant and the rejection issues his days are numbered, we just don't know what the number is. I wonder if it's easier to know a more exact time frame or not.

Anyway - enough of all that... Today he is celebrating a birthday and that is a wonderful thing.

So happy birthday Pop, my world is a better place because of you.

Current Music: Beautiful Day - Bedouin SoundClash

I Promise

Just one more night, then I'm all yours again! We've just got to get through the graduation tonight and the inevitable tears when I tell the kids that their parents won't be home before they have to go to bed and then I'm free.

Unless they've changed their plans and decided to stay in France permanently. In which case I will have to take a blogging hiatus as I hunt them down and kill them - wait no, bring them back, why would I want them dead?! I have confirmed that their flight left and is theoretically winging it's way to Detroit, but sadly there is no way to confirm that they are on it.

Anyway, as of tomorrow night I'll be sitting curled up in my comfy chair with my laptop, my tivo remote and a glass wine (or something stronger if tonight doesn't go well) - ready to read up on all that's new with you dear friends (so quick, run out and do something impressive) and maybe, just maybe crank out a really awesome post, though I wouldn't hold your breath or anything.

Current Music: Musicbox - Regina Spektor

Priceless

House cleaned up - 1 Hour

Kids fed - 2 Hour at a crappy restaurant and a Migraine

Clothes for field trips laid out - One fight over a bathing suit

Plans for Graduation set - 3 phone calls and one fit of crying

Parents returning from France tomorrow evening - priceless

Current Music: Listening to the storm roll over, wondering which tree we'll have to take down next.

It's Baaaacckkkk

You know how I said that I was excited that Scott had managed to get the AC into the house and we weren't going to have to sweat our asses off. I was wrong - I've decided I'd rather sweat. Now I know that most normal people really wouldn't want to sweat to death all summer long, but I'll take that over the noise.

In general, Summer is a noisy time around here. First you get your thunder storms; then there are all the lawn mowers, weed whackers and leaf blowers; of course there are all the boats up and down the river (we live right along the no wake zone, so it's really loud!). But the worst part is our stupid Air Conditioner, well and the fans too.

All night and every night of summer I have to listen to the fan going constantly and the AC cycling on and off. I basically sleep deprived from June to September. And that's just at night, during the day I have to constantly raise and lower the volume on the TV/iPod/telephone, you know anything I'm trying to hear.

And let's not forget going to work, where I sit directly beneath an AC unit all day. If I'm lucky I can hear myself think, but I definitely can not hear anyone that calls, or the intercom or even some clients when they come in the door.

Current Music: I don't know, I can't hear...

P.S. SATC was awesome! I haven't been the most avid watcher of the show - I always liked it, but I never watched it religiously; but it sure was a good movie. I'll agree, there were a few outfits that were, well even for SJP they were a bit much; but over all v. fun. The plot was good, and clear enough for a non-watcher - and the ending was good. All in all, two thumbs way up.

Dang It

Apparently my phone post didn't get to where it was supposed to go (namely here)! So I suppose I goofed up NaBloPoMo, but I tried.

Here's what you missed...


Yeah - Finally seeing Sex and the City.

Silver Lining

In the spirit of my new improved attitude (and a lot of caffeine), here's the brighter side of me today...

It's hotter than Hades today - bright side, I get to wear my cute skirt that makes me feel all Audry Hepburn-y along with my sassy silver flats (also very Audrey Hepburn, well maybe not the silver part).

I am a seriously white individual - bright side, say it with me "Self-Tanning Lotion".

The self-tanning lotion that was supposed to be streak free left a big fat streak on the top of my foot - bright side, my one foot looks very defined. Can a foot looked "ripped" - cause mine kinda does.

Less than a half an hour before I have to head off to the restaurant to work - bright side, tips, hopefully they will be good. Another bright side is the thought of a cold beer in the bar at the end of the night, I do love that part of the restaurant thing.

It's going to be hot and ridiculously humid all weekend long - bright side, Scott got the AC up and running today, so my plan for being unproductive just got a lot cooler.

Just got off the phone with Scott, child #1 is having a melt down - bright side, I'm not the one that has to deal with it :-)!!!! I was nice enough, however, to call their aunt and let them know that she might be cruising into a "Perfect Storm".

Oh and I'm super excited to got to see SATC tomorrow night with a bunch of gal pals - as long as I don't have to work. Guess there's no real bright side to that one, but pretty excited anyway.

Current Music: On the Sunny Side of the Street - Billie Holiday

Almost There

Alright - the kids are all packed off to head to their aunt's house for the weekend - and I get to go home (well, for the weekend anyway)!!!! Sadly, we get them back for Monday and Tuesday, but then we really are done.

In between today and the return of the parental units (now also known as the ex-friends) we are due for insanely high temps with the humidity to go along with it and tons of rain. That means that the weekend will be less than productive, and if it's still raining when we get the kids back they will be suffering a severe case of cabin fever (which I have now found out leads to fighting and meltdowns of the first degree). Needless to say, I'm not really keen to get the kids back, but there is a little light at the end of the tunnel!

Now I'm off to double check that everything is packed for tomorrow, homework is in the correct backpacks, lunches are ready, and clothes are laid out - a baby sitter's work is never done.

Current Music: the theme song to Two and a Half Men

Nobody Home

Such a useful expression - and so very accurate. Now, most of the time I use it figuratively, but this week it's very real. That's right, nobody is at my home (oh wait, there are three attack cats and a viscous guard dog, so even though we're not there it's very well protected). We've left the peace and quiet of our little house for a bigger one, filled with two kids and a geriatric dog. I now have a new appreciation for the expression "There's no place like home".

I'm not saying that the house swap isn't nice - the kitchen is bigger than my bedroom, there's a huge shower and a great hot tub - what's not to like?! Oh that's right, the house comes with the aforementioned children.

How, you ask, did we end up with kids all of a sudden? Well, a couple of months ago our good friends asked us if we would take care of their kids so that they could go on a romantic vacation to the south of France. We, being the childless idiots that we are, said no problem (as I said yesterday, we didn't think it would be that tough)! Needless to say if our dear friends, whom we love very much and would do almost anything for, ask us to do this again we will laugh and laugh and then say no.

Every night after dinner and homework are done I've been running home to my little empty house - to feed the animals and take the dog for a walk. The quiet is astonishing. And as I lock up the house to head back to the madness I realize that I can hardly wait to get back home the next day. Dorothy was so very right!

Current Music: Adrift - Barenaked Ladies

Yeah, I Guess So

Well I guess I'm doing NaBloPoMo! Since I feel the crushing need to post, I think it's safe to say that I've "committed" to it.

Speaking of being committed, I don't know how you folks with kids do it! I've had these kids for a couple of days and I'm already going nuts (hence the short posts). I came in the door tonight and promptly got yelled at by three people - usually it's one person and a couple of cats, (somehow the dog never gets mad at me).

When we first agreed to take care of the kids (months and months ago) I thought it would be easy - two adults against two kids, can't be that tough right? So very wrong. It's hard work and I have a new found respect for you moms out there.

But it's late and I'm cranky and tomorrow is another day - maybe it will be better.

Current Music: I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones

Need Sleep

Does 11:30pm seem a bit too late to work on a Harley? I say yes, but perhaps I'm in the minority?

I'm already working on 4 hours of sleep and I need to go to bed, but now I get to listen to some red-neck jack-ass play with his toys.

I still haven't committed to the NaBloPoMo thing, so just consider this a random rant...

I Might Be Dumb

Well, really there's no "might be" about it, but here's why I'm dumb this time. I'm pondering doing NaBloPoMo for June. Not really sure that I have time, or the energy, or even the brain cells. The thing is that the theme for June is "home" and that struck a chord with me. That and the fact that saying the other day that my blog makes me happy makes me think that I should do it more - and since I tend to post more frequently (say, every day) when I'm doing NaBloPoMo, then maybe it's a good thing.

I haven't completely committed myself to this yet, but I'll sleep on it and see what I think in the morning.

Oh, and to stay true to the theme I am posting from a friends house tonight (and if I do NaBloPoMo all the rest of the week) - but more on that later!

Current Music: Home - Barenaked Ladies

Things That Make Me Happy

So, as it usually happens, I've been in a bit of a funk - feeling that I've not the best blogger, pet mom, friend, wife, sibling or child. I've decided to not be in a funk anymore (well, till the next one happens). I've also decided that the best plan of attack is to think about the things that make me happy, little and big things that get me through the day.

1. Scott - yeah, he's a pain, but you've just gotta love a guy that will put up with me (well, I do anyway - you guys are on your own). He's been a champ lately, doing a surprising number of chores and things around the house and being very supportive of cranky, moody me. He's even gone so far as to suggest I go buy shoes to make myself feel better!



2. My Nieces - these two little girls make my heart swell. I think they are spectacular, they can do no wrong and they are most definitely the cutest things on the planet. All right maybe not, but they make me about as happy as I get - even when they are busy being awful and their mom is reconsidering giving them up for adoption.


3. My four-legged kids - These little buggers make me smile like nothing else. And even when they aren't make me laugh they're helping me out in other ways.
Bad day? Well at least the dog is happy to see me.
Don't want to wake up? 16 pounds of Maine Coon sitting on you bladder will solve that.
Sorry you didn't have kids? Cleaning the litter box is way easier than diapers.

4. This blog - yep, you all rank in my things that make me happy! I love having my own little corner of the Internet to bitch and whine and then have you all tell me 'it's okay, you're not the only one'. So thank you all.

5.My iPod - shallow, yes but I love it and it makes me smile and dance around my house like a dumb commercial (yes, an iPod commercial!).

6. Scrapbooking - oh I know it's a bit silly, but I find it so relaxing and fun. How can it be bad playing with beautiful things and looking at all your favorite pictures?

Sadly, I can't think of a full top ten, but 60% isn't bad. I guess I still only get a D for happiness, but I'll study harder next time.

Current Music: Molly's Chambers - Kings of Leon

How May I Disappoint You Today?

I hate to be disappointed, and yet I am disappointed frequently. Typically it is due to my own expectations, or rather over-expectations. But most of the time I've learned to live with disappointment by managing those expectations.

As much as I hate to be disappointed, what I hate more is disappointing people. Not that any of us really want to go out of our way to disappoint others, but it is truly one of my least favorite things - (it's guaranteed to make my stomach churn and head pound). But this week I think I've managed to disappoint almost everyone in my life.

I thought I had pre-ordered a Wii Fit for my sister's birthday. Apparently I did not complete the order and now my sister has no birthday present, until the next shipment comes in (in a month). I did some checking around on line and unless I'm willing to twice the retail value I'm SOL.

I yelled at Scott for the umteenth time, and he finally got mad back and sulked for a few days. Normally I wouldn't really care, but in his own lame way he has been trying to make my life easier and I've been taking that for granted.

My two year old niece called and wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't answer the phone (in my defense I was working).

I completely forgot to order some parts for a client, and now it's going to be 3 more weeks till they can finish their project.

I haven't taken my dog for a walk for over a week.

I forgot to call my dad back with a recipe that he really needed (I did manage to get him the information a day after he needed it).

Since I've disappointed my nearest and dearest, I figured I'd put it out there to anyone who needs to be disappointed... So how may I disappoint you today?

Current Music: What Can I Say - Brandi Carlile

Blog Neglect

Can I be arrested for blog neglect? Is there a Blog Protective Services, could there be fines involved for the fact that I've been a crap blogger? I hope not, cause I have in deed been a crap blogger!

But, since I'm sure you're all dying to know what's new with me, here's Mandy Lou in bullets:

• The sewage pump is f'd up again, nothing major but if I see those stupid plumbers again... well just keep an eye on the news "Suburban lady opens a can of whoop ass on two under age plumbers".
  
• Scott cleaned both bathrooms this week, no really both bath rooms (and yes, there was much fanfare)
• I am only just now dropping my sister's birthday card in the mail - can it make it to Cali by Saturday?
• I've been working 9+ hours a day, that bites
• I've had PMS for like a week now, that really bites
• I walked over 15,000 steps on Saturday (I had to work at the restaurant)
• May bangs are growing out, again - yeah, I cut them, again. So what's your point?
• I am a week and a half away from becoming the mother of a tween girl and a crazy hockey playing boy - the good news is that it's only a week, but more on all that later
• Even without all the restaurant steps, I'm pretty much making my goal of 7,000 steps a day - gotta love those long walks through the mall!
• Work is sucking - most of the time I dream of using the stapler on my boss' forhead
• Scott spent "all day" cleaning 4 windows - no really, it's hard work being him.
• I'm scheduled to work both Friday and Saturday night working at the restaurant, it's going to be a long weekend, and not in a good way!
  

Well, that's about it for now. I would promise to be a better blogger, but I'd probably let y'all down. So I'll just say I just say see you soon (ish).

Current Music: Ain't Nothing Wrong With That - Robert Randal & The Family Band

I Would Walk 500 Miles

Well, it's not really 500 miles, it's more like 280. That's 5 miles a day for 8 weeks, or 10,000 steps for 56 days. What ever way you want to break it down, that's what I'm doing.

The 5th Annual WOMAN Challenge started on Mother's Day. I did it last year for the first time and had a really great time. My sister, Mom and a couple of friends all joined the same team and we encouraged each other (via email) to walk our butts off! Of course it's just a self-enforced thing, sort of like NaBloPoMo - it's all about the ability to say that you did it!

So for the next 8 weeks I'll have my handy dandy pedometer on my belt, making sure that I'm doing all my steps! And if I'm running a bit short one day, there's always shopping or "Dance, Dance Revolution" (I don't see why that can't count)!

Now for the standard "I'm a sucktastic blogger lately" speech - but the whole work thing is taking up waaaay too much of my time (like I don't have personal things to do during the work day!). I have succumb to the Twitter phenomenon, so if you're desperate for more Mandy Lou - you can follow me there!

Current Music: I Would Walk 500 Miles - The Proclaimers (on The Graham Norton Show - are you watching this, cause you should be!)