Day, ummm. What day is it?

Right, so it's still June. At least I think it still is.

I think I've kind of missed the ball on the whole Junathon thing - again. Though in my defense I managed to go longer and for more miles than last time. But then I'm petering out instead of being taken out by injury, so... I guess we'll call it a draw then shall we?  I'm not saying I'm really going to bail on the whole thing, just you know gonna scale it back to normal proportions. Or say, any other month that doesn't end in "athon".

So, the plan for the rest of the month? I think I'll for sure do some more yoga cuz that's always fun, in a ridiculously hot, sweaty way. Then I think I'll throw a couple 10ks in just for fun - cuz that too is always fun.

Not to worry, I'm not giving up, I'm just giving into the laziness...

Current Music: Theme from Star Wars (but not because I'm a geek and actually have it in my itunes, but because Family Guy is on and their doing yet another Star Wars episode).

Cancer for Dummies

Right, so I thought that I would be all witty by saying how "I wish there was a Cancer for Dummies book", turns out there is (and there's MORE than one). I guess now I'd thought to write this post and search Amazon before now.

This afternoon is mom's first appointment with the oncologist. Today we finally get some answers, or at least we hope so. Maybe if we'd bought "Breast Cancer for Dummies" we wouldn't be so in the dark right now. As of right now all we know is that she had two types of cancer, that she had to (and did have) a bilateral radical mastectomy, and that there was lymph node involvement. She was diagnosed in October and yet that's all we know.

She went slowly from mammogram to biopsy, biopsy to MRI, MRI to surgical consult, surgical consult to actual surgery. From there she had to take time to heal from surgery and then it would finally be time to see the oncologist. I know that I don't deal with cancer every day like these doctors do, but shouldn't there some sense of urgency? Some concern that this is cancer and could kill my last remaining parent (a thought that I am not really ready to tackle just yet)?

I'm trying to have faith that the doctors know what's going on and that we'll all get through this, but a few answers would be nice. Here's hoping that we have them later this afternoon.

Current Music: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

Happy New Year!

I've got to tell you, I'm exceptionally happy to see the back of 2009. It was not what I would consider to be a banner year. In fact, what's the opposite of banner year? Because, with a few exceptions, that's what it's been - an "unbanner year". Though, upon a little reflection, I think I could easily say that I'm glad to be rid of the whole damn decade. Sure there are some wonderful things that have happened in the last 10 years - my sister got married, my nieces were born, we bought our first house, etc. Some really great things to be sure, but then the really bad stuff seems to eclipse it all.

But since it's been a while since I've blogged, I suppose I should catch you all up... Should we go with the good news first or the bad news? I guess good news first - it's a shorter list and I hate to bum you all out too early.

- I joined a gym, and began training to run my first 5k - and now I'm about to run my third tomorrow.

- I started on anti-depressants which has helped to a certain degree, sadly it hasn't helped everything. But apparently they don't make a pill for that just yet.

- I got a two and a half week vacation to Cali, courtesy of my Mom and unemployment.

- Part of that vacation included a trip to LA and great girl's weekend with two of my three college roommates.

And now for the not so good news.

- I was able to take the vacation by getting laid off for two weeks, but when I returned to Michigan my bosses decided to make it more long term. So I've been out of work since the 22nd of September.

- Scott and I have been on the rocks, more than that - really it seems like the end, but neither one of us can figure out how to actually make it end.

- The two college roommates that I saw in September are both in the process of separation and possibly divorce as well.

- And the really big news, my Mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in October (sort of ironic to be diagnosed during National Breast Cancer Month, no?)

I will say that the silver lining of the unemployment is that it's made me available to come home and take care of my Mom. I've been in California since early December and it looks like I'll be here till the end of January at this point. Scott's none too thrilled with the situation, but it's my last parent so I'm going to do what ever needs to happen.

The not so silver lining of the unemployment is that it's made life so much more difficult - not from a monetary stand point (not that it's easy, but it's not horrible), but due to the fact that it gives me far too much time to get up in my head and stress out about all the other things going on in my life.

And of course there is the decided lack of jobs in my area - at this point I'm pondering returning to California just so I can work (well, at doing my job and not just taking a random job). Another thing that Scott's not too thrilled about, but I need to work - not only for the money, but for the mental and social aspects as well.

So, can you really blame me for being glad to get rid of 2009?

Anyway, the result of all this whining is that I'm going to make the resolution to blog more (yeah, I know you've heard it before, but I'm gonna try), to combat the psychological effects of all that bad news I've listed up there. I know deep down under all that crappy stuff I'm still there and missing writing.

Current Music: Cold Blooded Old Times - Smog

This is Your Dance Space and This is My Dance Space

Our house is small, some might say cozy - not crazy small, but it's not much more than 1100 square feet. When we moved into the house we "finished" part of the basement to give our selves a bit more room. But, all in all, it's a fine sized house for two people.

When we finished off the basement we figured it would be a "family room", a bigger gathering space, a spot to watch movies and sports (the big TV is down there). But it turned into Scott's man cave, his place away from me. So I am left with the living room, which is just fine - it has the better lighting, the fire place, the comfy chairs and a way better view.

Generally each evening, after dinner, Scott goes downstairs and watches TV or plays his video games. Sometimes I hate that he goes down there at all (as opposed to spending time with me) and other times he can't get down there fast enough for me. Mostly it works out just fine, we each have our own spaces to retreat to and we're happy.

And then the basement flooded.

For almost two weeks I've been sharing my space. At first it wasn't bad, we watched shows that we both liked and had fun hanging out together. But it didn't take too long for it to get annoying. Not being able to watch the shows I wanted to watch, or listen to music because he was watching TV. Most nights I would feel more stressed before going to bed, because I hadn't had time to unwind the way I'm used to.

I suppose I should be saying "please don't think I don't like being with my husband". But the truth is, that at the end of the day I like to sit and eat dinner with him and talk about our days and then we each go our own way and I curl up in my chair, watch TV and goof around on-line.

So today, in an effort to restore marital bliss, we spent the day getting his man cave back in order. New carpet and new wall, and soon a new tile area (where we had the most water). Tomorrow we'll continue, I'll work on getting all the little stuff back in it's spots and Scott will work on the tile floor. For now the furniture is mostly back in place, the TV is hooked up. So Scott is happily ensconced in his man cave and I am sitting blissfully here in my chair by myself.

Life is getting back to normal.

Current Music: Up On The Roof - The Drifters

The Dog Ate My Homework

No really, that's what happened to my post from yesterday, it had nothing to do with the fact that I apparently forgot to hit the post button. I'd go a head an post it except I'm afraid of the the NaBloPoMo police - you never know when they might catch you cheating.

In other news, my New Year's Day was spent as many Americans prefer to spend it - slightly hung-over, watching the Rose Parade and a lot of football. I even went to bed at 9pm (that might have had something to do with being up til 3am the night before) - all things considered it was a restful day, just the way to start the New Year.

Today I spent ALL day cleaning our photos - tossing a bunch of really bad ones, getting other ones sorted for scrapbooking and organizing all the negatives, cds and film cartridges. Even though it really did take me way longer than I had hoped it feels really god to have it done. Of course since I didn't finish my task till late I didn't help Scott with his (ripping up the carpet downstairs), so he pretty much didn't get anything done.

Oh, did I forget to tell you? Our basement flooded. Yep, Sunday night our little river turned into a ginormous river and decided to find it's way into our basement. Happily we were able to get most everything out or up high enough, so all we lost was the carpet. But if it hadn't been for the help of an awesome friend and the young and burly Firemen that came over with tons of sand bags it would have been much worse. Yeah, 2008 ROCKED - so I'm very, very glad to see the back of that year.

Even though I've already failed on the whole NaBloPoMo thing, I am trying for another picture a day this year. I really enjoyed it last year, so I decided to have another go at it - in fact I've recruited my sister, a friend and her daughter (and possibly one other friend). Come to think of it, I need to get a finder's fee or something.

That's enough randomness for now, but just because I goofed up yesterday doesn't mean I won't try to do the rest of the month - just think of it as NaBloPoMo minus one.

Current Music: Blame it on the Bosa Nova - Edie Gorme (hey, I could blame my missed post on that too)

Housekeeping

Or perhaps the lack there of... My house is a complete mess and my mother is arriving on Sunday. The good news is that we are picking her up at the airport and hitting the road for our trip to PA, so technically she won't be seeing our house till the following Friday - but it still needs to be cleaned before we leave to go get her.

That means that between now and Sunday at 7am I need to:
wash down the kitchen cabinets
clean the kitchen counters
excavate the mess on the dinning room table
clean both bathrooms
napalm the shower (I'm not sure there's anything else that will clean it)
do a bunch of laundry (all the guest sheets and towels apparently became a cat bed)
sweep and mop all the floors
dust
vacuum

oh, and pack

And that's just at home, I still have to get the dog to the kennel, pick up the rental car (I'm not putting all those miles on my little car) and get everything at work ready for my absence. And I haven't even started thinking about how I'm going to deal with NaBloPoMo while I'm gone - I think you should prepare yourselves for short mobile phone posts. Oh, and I'm working at the restaurant Friday and Saturday night. I'm tired just thinking about it all.

You may ask how many things on this list Scott is taking care of, the answer my friends is probably one - vacuuming. Somehow the interior of our home is my domain, while he takes care of the outside (and when I say outside I mean lawn, not garden - that's my problem too). That's right I'm going to take care of that big ass list of things to do and he's going to sit on his riding mower for an hour or two - totally seems fair.

Every once and a while I wonder what it would be like to have a husband that actually helped out - but then it makes me wonder how many of them actually exist (and aren't secretly gay). Maybe one of these days I'll realize that the fairy tales don't really come true and get back to doing the laundry.

Current Music: Nolita Fairytale - Vanessa Carlton

Almost There

Alright - the kids are all packed off to head to their aunt's house for the weekend - and I get to go home (well, for the weekend anyway)!!!! Sadly, we get them back for Monday and Tuesday, but then we really are done.

In between today and the return of the parental units (now also known as the ex-friends) we are due for insanely high temps with the humidity to go along with it and tons of rain. That means that the weekend will be less than productive, and if it's still raining when we get the kids back they will be suffering a severe case of cabin fever (which I have now found out leads to fighting and meltdowns of the first degree). Needless to say, I'm not really keen to get the kids back, but there is a little light at the end of the tunnel!

Now I'm off to double check that everything is packed for tomorrow, homework is in the correct backpacks, lunches are ready, and clothes are laid out - a baby sitter's work is never done.

Current Music: the theme song to Two and a Half Men

How May I Disappoint You Today?

I hate to be disappointed, and yet I am disappointed frequently. Typically it is due to my own expectations, or rather over-expectations. But most of the time I've learned to live with disappointment by managing those expectations.

As much as I hate to be disappointed, what I hate more is disappointing people. Not that any of us really want to go out of our way to disappoint others, but it is truly one of my least favorite things - (it's guaranteed to make my stomach churn and head pound). But this week I think I've managed to disappoint almost everyone in my life.

I thought I had pre-ordered a Wii Fit for my sister's birthday. Apparently I did not complete the order and now my sister has no birthday present, until the next shipment comes in (in a month). I did some checking around on line and unless I'm willing to twice the retail value I'm SOL.

I yelled at Scott for the umteenth time, and he finally got mad back and sulked for a few days. Normally I wouldn't really care, but in his own lame way he has been trying to make my life easier and I've been taking that for granted.

My two year old niece called and wanted to talk to me, but I couldn't answer the phone (in my defense I was working).

I completely forgot to order some parts for a client, and now it's going to be 3 more weeks till they can finish their project.

I haven't taken my dog for a walk for over a week.

I forgot to call my dad back with a recipe that he really needed (I did manage to get him the information a day after he needed it).

Since I've disappointed my nearest and dearest, I figured I'd put it out there to anyone who needs to be disappointed... So how may I disappoint you today?

Current Music: What Can I Say - Brandi Carlile

Happiness

I so desperately want to feel like this...



Though, I do worry that I would have to take up a drug habit to get results like that.

Current Music: You just heard it...

Dream On

I had two stress/work dreams in the early morning hours:

1. One of my bosses was yelling at me for missing an 8:30am meeting, a meeting that she had scheduled for me to meet with a client - but hadn't told me about. Now anyone who knows anything about me knows that I don't do much at 8:30am except use monosyllabic words and get ready for work. So I was yelling back that it was totally unfair of her to be mad at me when she a) knows I don't do 8:30am meetings, b) didn't tell me and c) since she rarely comes in before 10am who was she to tell me when to come in. The fight got so heated, the yelling so intense that I woke up sweating and seriously pissed off.

That was at about 4:30am and though I tried, I couldn't get back to sleep for a while. Around 4:45am I gave up and read for a bit. At some point I managed to get back to sleep again and had this dream:

2. My boss' mom needed a ride to the shop in her motor home (strange for many reasons, one of which is that she doesn't actually have one), but she wanted to drive and just have me ride with her. Once we got there I realized that I couldn't get back home to change (I had left the house without make-up or hair done or clothes on) so went in to ask the boss if I could drive his van back to my house to get ready for work. Since it was well before the time I usually get to work I figured I had time to go home and get suited up for real. But he said no, since I was there he expected me to work, I said I couldn't since I didn't have make-up on or any clothes. At that point I realized that not only was I not wearing work clothes, I wasn't wearing any clothes at all(though they did eventually re-appear)! I looked around the show room and there were a ton of people that needed help (even though none of them wanted kitchens - I'm not really sure what they wanted), so I started helping people with their questions - naked and grumbling all the way. A few clients later (and with my clothes back on) I said I was going home to change. Just as I was walking away, that person (really not sure who it was) bit or stabbed me in the back (left shoulder blade to be exact). The stabbing pain was enough to wake me up again and for good.

The odd thing is the shoulder pain bothers me when I am at work, I rarely have a problem with it anywhere else. But just dreaming about work made me the pain come back!

Not that these two dreams aren't so hard to decipher. As you know I've not been exactly pro-work. I drag my ass in here every day doing as little work as I can get away with and try not to listen to my bosses whining about sales being down (I'm making my sales so there's not much more I can do for that). But theses dreams have got me thinking that I may need to re-evaluate my job or at least how much longer I want to work for these folks.

In any event I think I see a mental health day in my future...

Current Music: Lily Dreams On - Cotton Mather

Nobody Likes a Tease

I hate to say bad things about my girl, Mother Nature. I love her, but she is a serious tease.

This was Monday, all was right with the world:



And then Tuesday happened:



Wednesday was the bringer of all things spring, the sun was out, the birds were chirping, there were signs of green in the lawn and the piles of snow were melting. I was absolutely sure that spring was here for good.

And this is what I found when I left the office tonight...



Seriously - I am a California girl, when you promise good weather, you can't mean for the next ten minutes!!!!

Current Music: California Sun - Jem

Folding Our Tents

KimmyK and FADKOG have the right idea - we're getting out of dodge! Well, we're leaving the house for a bit anyway - just heading across town till the plumbing resolves itself. Our friends have a summer cottage and they've offered it to us till this shit storm blows over, so we're packing up the kitties and the pup and heading over there.

Last night we thought we could get through it, paper plates aren't so bad right? After one day of those paper plates (and everything else) we weren't feeling so positive about the possibility of making it through the week.

Then came the last straw... I expect that we are like most working couples, and we do laundry on the weekend, and of course it's hard to have laundry day without the washer and dryer. Happily, our friends were kind enough to offer the use of their washer and dryer (and shower) today, so we started driving the laundry down the street. Half way through the laundry (a load in the washer, a load in the dryer, a load in the basket in the car and a load left to go) we decided that there is just no way we could make it till mid- to late week.

To get back to the whole list theme thing, I thought I would close with a list of things I miss about not having indoor plumbing:
1. showers
2. flushing the toilet
3. the dishwasher
4. the washing machine
5. shaving - a short shower means I'm starting to look like a yeti!

I'm sure there are more, but those are the top ones!

Current Music: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

The Saga Continues

So much for "fixed by the end of the day". So much for $1200 for everything. So we're still in deep shit - and I'm not really speaking metaphorically.

By the time I got home last night (around 9:30 pm) the plumbers were still at it. Apparently once they replaced the pump - and added a few expensive do-hickies to it - they found that the water wasn't making it up to the street (which is the point of the pump). We went to bed with the tank empty, but without the pump working - so limited flushes, short showers, etc. - till they could return in the morning to continue everything. We also went to bed thinking that at best everything would be resolved with a little roto-router action, at worst we'd be looking at ripping up 300 feet of pipe to replace it. Needless to say neither of us got much sleep.

There is a bright-ish side to this... this morning the plumber called and said that he realized that the new pump didn't have the right pressure to get everything up to the street. So no roto-router, no new pipes but another new pump.

The less than bright side of things is that the next new pump won't be here till at least Tuesday. So we're back to limited flushes, short showers, no laundry, no dishes till Wednesday or later!!! And worse yet the tank can only hold so much so we're pumping everything into a small (but ultimately well fertilized) part of the yard - gross (as my friend suggested, we're doing a "cousin Eddie" - free pair of spiffy socks to the person that can name that movie :-)!

In other, less crappy news, my other nieces birthday and birthday party was today - she turned the big 2 today. Why two birthday parties in two days? Because my sister is dumb, that's why. But I'd probably do it for these cuties too!



Current Music: Here It Goes Again - Ok Go.

Let's Take a Moment

Let's just take a moment and ponder the following:

1. Today Scott took the day off, played basketball, got his hair cut, played video and watch TV.
2. Yesterday I worked from home all day.

So why is it that I get a ration of crap for not doing the laundry yesterday and yet somehow it's more than enough work to "sort" a basket of laundry today? How is it ok that I work two jobs (alright that's a bit much - one full time and one Friday night job), and he can take three days off in a week and complain about working on Saturday?

To add insult to injury - my mother sent him a cake for Valentine's, in case you were wondering I got a vacuum sealer bag. Yep, he got a cake, his favorite cake - and I hate that cake, and to make it even worse I actually have to make the cake because she sent the damn thing in packets.

It's good to be the king, apparently...

In other news, NaBloPoMo is doing a "make any month NaBloPoMo" - I'm thinking about doing it. I'm bummed that I'm not posting much, maybe I need a kick in the ass, oh wait maybe that's Scott that need a kick.

Current Music: What a Good Boy - Barenaked Ladies

Technology

We have sent people to the moon; we can put calculators, altimeters, barometers and heart monitors into watches; we have tiny little phones that can carry information for everyone we've ever called, all our music and our complete calendars for 2007/2008. And yet we can't manage to make cough syrup taste good! Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Ok, maybe it's the cold medicine talking, or maybe it's the buzzing inner ear thing, but it seems to me that it's not too much to ask for. The other day I had this yummy chocolate-y candy thing that turned out to be a calcium supplement. And yet Cough Syrup still tastes like crap. I even tried the little kid version in the hopes that it would taste ok and I'd just have to take more - nope, still tastes like crap.

Enough for my rant I'm heading back to bed, I thought I'd try working from home, but the computer screen is swimming in front of me and I can't tell you how many typos I've committed just trying to get this little bit down!

Current Music: Could Be Anything - The Eames Era

Fake Happy

Some days I really hate my job, most days it's fine - but today is one of those hate-it days. Of course I kind of hate everything right now, but I'm seriously hating my job today. And the funny thing is that I'm not hating the job itself - I'm hating having to be happy. It's the one aspect of my job that kills me.

If I wake up on the wrong side of the bed I don't get to crawl into some cubicle and take it out on my keyboard, I've got to plaster on a fake smile and be fake happy. I have to answer the phone nicely, I have to listen patiently to clients, I have to pretend to give a crap about what they are saying when all I really want is to be under the covers with my tivo remote and and a cup of tea (well maybe something stronger, but...).

So here I am, putting on the happy Mandy Lou show - and hating every second of it, counting down the minutes till I can get out of here.

Current Music: I Hate Everyone - Get Set Go

Peace out...

There has to be a better way to spend Christmas Eve.

But the real question here is why does an airport need a directory?

Bad Blogger

I'm sorry I've been so lame lately! You'd think being busy would mean tons of fodder for the blog, but not really - it just means busy. I haven't had time to stop by everyone's blogs and visit, or just enjoy reading blogs. I'm woefully backed up on the tivo and I have no idea when I'm going to watch anything.

On the bright side I think I made some good progress on the to do list - well except for the work thing. But I've still got the weekend to work on that.

I never really talk about my job, except to say how busy I am. But I guess why should I post about what I do, when I can get some one to do it for me! Alright, so she doesn't exactly do it for me, but she makes it sound fun and exciting (which most of the time it isn't). Anyway, I figure if you wanted to be reading about the ins and outs of kitchen design, you'd be there and not here listening to me whine!

So, I'll get back to work now, glamorous or not it's got to get done!

Current Music: Do They Know It's Christmas Time? - BandAid

The State of Things

This is what my desk looks like:

On the bright side, my Christmas cards are done. Some how that does not make up for all the things that need to be done before I leave Monday morning:

• three clients plans to finish
• two orders to put in
• multiple loads of laundry
• pack
• return gifts that were duplicates (because some people don't know how to use Kaboodle)
• buy new gifts to replace the duplicates
• clean my house
• finish making my mom's gift
• buy a few last minute gifts
• work at both jobs
• get the dog to the kennel
• stop the paper and the mail
• figure out what to make for dessert for Christmas and send a shopping list to my dad

I'm sure that's not everything, but it's a start. Oh, and I'd like to get it all done with out coming completely unhinged!

Very excited to find that there is a word for my condition "Holidaze".

BTW - thanks for the validation on the baby pictures! But please stop if I seem ready to start buying them all sweaters and trying to put them in handbags - 'k?

Current Music: My Christmas List - Simple Plan

Snow Day

I woke up to a "Blizzard Warning" - while we slept we'd been upgraded from a Winter Storm Watch. But a Blizzard Warning isn't so bad on a Sunday morning when you don't have any thing else to do right? At 9am the day was filled with promise, the promise of a fire, a couple of movies on DVD, catching up on reading blogs, working on the Christmas Cards and of course more snow.

I'm not sure when it happened, maybe it's when I had to spend 20 minutes combing the snow off the dog, or maybe it was when I burned my fingers on the heat tool I was using on the cards, but at some point my good mood turned into a supremely crappy one.

The cards are still not done, the house isn't clean, the laundry isn't done, the Christmas shopping isn't done, there's so much to do and Monday is on it's way. Crap.

Current Music: Today Has Been Okay - Emiliana Torrini