Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Crisis of Mid-Life Proportions - A Post of Many Parts

Happy Blogoversary to me! Wow, has it really been three years? No, not really - more like two, but still, that's pretty good right. Apparently I really do have that much random crap to discuss with myself.

I did have an ok birthday. I tried hard not to be too sad or mopey. I did things that I wanted to do - did my nails and toes, cleaned up some of my scrapbooking stuff, took the dog for a drive, hung out with Scott and generally had an ok day. Of course my brain never really stops, so there was bound to be some sadness.

One of the many things that my never-stopping brain decided to roll around was my looming mid-life crisis. Not that I have to have one mind you, just that I think I am. The last couple of months have had me examining my life, where I've been and where it could be headed. I'm not certain that it's truly a mid-life crisis and if it is I don't know if it could be attributed to to my dad's death, my age, the economy or anything else. One thing I am certain of I am both profoundly unhappy and dissatisfied with my life.

So this posts is a kick-off for a series posts on the different parts of my mid-life crisis. I'll try not to bore you with all of them all at once, or maybe I will - get it all off my chest and see if that helps at all. If this doesn't work I'm going to have to start saving up for my little red sports car and the hot blond to go with it.

Current Music: World Waits for You - Son Volt

p.s. Don't you just love the little things I found at Disney Land - I tried to buy the little sign, but the clerk said it was a display item only. I would have tried to take it, but you know, it's Disney and that's just not right.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Another Year Older and Deeper in Debt

Yep, it's that time of year again, well almost - my birthday is tomorrow.

Remember when birthdays were a magical day? There were presents, balloons, a cake with candles (maybe a pony if you were lucky). What happened to that, why do adult birthdays have to be just like any other day? It seems like once you get past those milestone birthdays of 16, 18 and 21 adult birthdays are pretty much just another reminder that you are getting older.

And this one is going to be particularly tough - this will be my very first birthday with out my Dad. I'd never really thought about it but there are only two people (well, one now) that have been part of my life for every one of my birthdays. Sure I have aunts and uncles, and my sister has been around just two years less - but it's just not the same.

Right now the thought of having a birthday tomorrow makes me want to crawl into bed and cry for days on end. All my friends have been super nice, calls and cards and birthday wishes - but the thought of tomorrow coming is absolutely devastating. I know Scott is worried, but I haven't told him what's going on in my head - I don't want to get into that with him right now.

I've decided to take tomorrow off - the day is already going to be miserable enough, I don't need to make it worse by going to work. But I really don't know what to do with myself. Should I go do something interesting, go to a museum an art gallery (do they even have those here?) or maybe I go to a mall and spend sometime window shopping (because even though I am about to be a year older I'm really doing my best to stay out of debt). Perhaps I'll go get a mani-pedi and get my hair done.

One way or the other, I think that I'll be spending it quietly. And part of the time will be alone, and that's ok.

Current Music: February Air - Lights

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Oh What A Night

I should start out with the requisite apology for goofing up the end of NaBloPoMo and not having been around for a bit. But I really don't have much of and excuse for not being around, besides a severe case of what my sister would call "Head Up Ass" disease. I did bail on the last day of NaBloPoMo, but I have a number of reasonable excuses - I was in a different time zone, I was entertaining someone else's children in Disneyland, I'd already messed up NaBloPoMo anyway, oh and I was at my super important reunion (also called the mini Slug-Fest-Love-Fest-Drinking-Fest).

It was pretty damned awesome! It's been almost 13 years since I'd seen all my old roomies and almost 20 since we'd lived together, yet we were able to pick back up as if no time had passed. Sure we were all a bit older, maybe a few more pounds here and there, but no worse for wear. Some of us had kids, some weren't working, one was having an affair, and one had a nice new set of boobs (none of those are me by the way) - but all still in good shape and still the same bunch of fun gals we always were.

Oh, and did I say we all looked pretty good? 'Cause we did. My one roomie said that "almost 40 is the new 20" - maybe she's right. Oh and I'm pretty sure I pulled off the H-O-T, hot bit as well ("you are hotter now than you even were in college" - a direct quote from the Ex) - even with the bangs.

After plenty of girl chatter and gossip the once "Fearsome Foursome" (our nickname way back in our Freshman year) got all tarted up and headed out to the bar to meet the rest of the Slugs. The group was supposed to include one Ex per roomie (yep, we broke hearts and took names once upon a time), plus a couple of floor-mates from our Freshman and Sophomore dorms. The "rest" of the group ended up being only be my Ex and one other friend. Oh, and my Ex brought his wife - which actually turned out ok, she was really nice (and incredibly tall and could kick my ass in a hot second, so I have to say she was nice right? :-).

Anywhoo, we headed out to the restaurant and proceeded to eat, drink and relive old times (strangely they included a lot of talk about how my Ex and I hooked up all those years ago - the good news is that his wife took it in good form). We kept talking, eating, drinking and laughing till we realized that we were getting a bit too loud for the rest of the restaurant patrons. We knew we weren't done with the evening so we headed on to some random country bar around the corner (which you really wouldn't expect to see in the trendy part of San Diego, and yet...).

At some point between trying to get me on the mechanical bull and the tequila shots we started to really have a good time! The guys tried out a little table dancing - which was frightening (and managed to get the bouncers over to our table). I'm fairly certain that at least one of the girls had a little spin on the pole (clothes on). But the night couldn't end there! Not long after, we all ended up on the roof top bar dancing and drinking well into the wee hours of the morning. Sometime around 3am we dragged ourselves back to our room and into bed.

We all managed to drag ourselves out of bed the next morning and down to breakfast. I'm not sure that we did any better than we did 20 years ago, but we all made it through the night not too much worse for wear. We enjoyed a breakfast and shared a small bottle of Advil and started making plans for the next reunion.

I guess the good news is that I've got a year to recover.

Current Music: So Long, Farewell, Bye Bye - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

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