Random Post on a Random Word

I was just going back to an old draft post to try writing it again. I gave it a quick read through and then started a few edits. As I got to the end I found the word "cojones" at the bottom.

I haven't the faintest clue as to why it was there, I'm not really sure what it has to do with what I was writing about or why I might have written it in the first place. And yet there sits at the bottom of the post. I might just leave it there to see if you're all paying attention.

Some times I crack myself up.

Current Music: Far Away - Ingrid Michaelson

This and That

Seriously scraping the bottom of the barrel here... apparently my life is really boring (well, except for the flood, the car on the river, and maybe a few other things). So here's a bunch of randomness for you - 'cause it's all I got.

* I am incredibly tired of medical shows about transplants. Every now and then there's a transplant episode, and it gets me every time. Damn transplants, damn broken organs, damn TV. (And don't even get me started on all the dead dads on TV lately!)

* My Mom called to let me know that the "final resting place" that we chose for my Dad had to be moved across the "garden". It's no big thing, but it's just sort of surreal to be at work, talking to your Mom about the merits of his ashes being on the sunny side vs. the shady side of a garden filled with lots of other people's ashes. I suppose I should care, we're getting the "family plan" - Scott and I will be there one day.

* The car is still in river, only the front half, but now the river is freezing around it and I have no idea when or how they are going to get it out. Worse yet, since Scott was the one to call emergency services he ended up getting a bunch of calls from the Sheriff, the humane society (the idiot was on the river chasing after his dog) and the news paper. Somehow we've become a side show in this red-neck drama.

* Back to the bra shopping - what I really need is a bra that moves the back fat forward. Why didn't anyone tell me that some time after thirty, no matter how thin you are, back fat happens? How is it that my ass began growing up my back at the same time that it starts falling down? And is there a bra that can fix it?!

* I went to a meeting of the local photo club tonight - I'm not sure if I'm going to keep at it. The people were nice, but I'm not sure if my photos are up to snuff. It's not a big time commitment, and it might be fun. I really love how my perspective on things has changed since I've started taking a picture a day - I look at the world a little differently, and maybe this club will continue to foster that.

* And three years ago today we adopted a cute little ball of Tortoiseshell fluff - and right now she's doing a great job of keeping my neck warm and probably helping me keep my hold on the little patch of sanity that I can still lay claim to.

Current Music: Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

Clocks

I managed to set all my clocks back today. Most of the time, I tend to miss a clock or two - then I end up making myself late by looking at the one clock that I managed to miss.

The best news is that I fixed the strange time-space-continuum thing that was happening in the morning. I would wake up in the morning, and between waking up and getting to the bathroom (about 10 feet away) I would lose six minutes. I would wake up at 6:58am and in the bathroom it would be 7:04.

Right, I know that really, it was just a problem of two clocks being off - but every morning it weirded me out. And yet, I didn't fix it. I even put it on my "to-do" list, and I still didn't fix it. Until today, that is.

So by tomorrow morning the rip in the continuum should be mended, I should be a little more rested since I "gained" my hour and I should be able to get to work in a more timely fashion. Well, two out of three isn't too bad right?

Current Music: No music, I've been clearing off the Tivo today - right now, it's the Amazing Race.

More Ramblings

Have I said I miss you guys lately? Yep - I guess the cloud is lifting a little bit, because I realized it's been ages since I checked in with my little blog world. That's a good sign right? Maybe it's just all the cold weather waking my lazy ass up, who knows.

Things I do know:
- My Dad died a month ago yesterday, and I didn't cry all day - just thought good thoughts and felt really ok with that.

- I am watching way too much TV - well I guess the problem is that I'm not - the Tivo is desperately close to full. But the thing is I didn't really add a lot of shows so I'm not sure if I'm watching slower or Scott is secretly filling the tivo up with his crappy shows or what.

- I am getting addicted to Facebook - it's like a sickness I swear. I've caught up with college friends, high school friends and even some elementary school friends. I even caught up with one of my college flings (it was too short to call a relationship).

- I may have started a strange "flirt-ationship" with the previously mentioned fling - it's kind of fun to reminisce about old times, but strange when the old times were mostly sex.

- My house is a mess. Another thing that happens when you are in a fog for a month, your house goes to hell. I'll be cleaning tonight and much of tomorrow, since we've got company coming on Saturday.

- Scott is my new hero. Yeah, go figure, but my darling hubby has been amazingly helpful and supportive in this whole thing. Doing laundry, taking care of all the fall clean-up stuff, doing the dishes, etc. I realize that most of that list is stuff he normally does but he's done it without me nagging and bitching and that's the wonderful part (that and having clean underwear, because if it had been up to me...).

- I am so not ready for Halloween. I haven't put out any Halloween decorations, though I did manage to get some pumpkins. I did buy some candy, the bad news is that we've pretty much eaten it all.

- I have been freezing my ass off the last couple of days. In my denial of fall, haven't gotten out the big down comforter or any of my sweaters, the result being permanently cold unless I'm attached to my space heater under my desk.

- My iPod is woefully out of date, so I've been listening to Yahoo radio at work - it's not too bad.

- We took some time to go look at the fall colors on Sunday and had a great day. It's nice to know that great days are still out there.


I guess that's all I know for sure, but it's not a bad start really.

Current Music: Outside - Aqualung

Still Broken

"There should be a statute of limitations on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after forty-two days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name. That there will be no fine imposed if you feel the need to clean out her desk; take down her artwork from the refrigerator; turn over a school portrait as you pass - if only because it cuts you fresh to see it. That it is okay to measure the time she has been gone, the way we once measured her birthdays."

My Sister's Keeper
Jodi Picoult

Today would have been the 2nd anniversary for my Dad's new heart. That sort of sucks.

I'm still here, but still broken. I haven't had any good days, most days are okay at best and some days are just pain bad. Strangely enough, work days tend to be better - even as much as I'm disliking my job these days. It seems that weekends are just to open and empty - easy for my brain to get lost in the pain.

Obviously I am not doing NaBloPoMo - it did seem like a good idea at the time, but I just couldn't do it to you guys. You have no idea how many posts I've tried to write, but they were all such serious downers (they made me more depressed and that ain't easy) I couldn't bear to post them. Trust me, you'll thank me for it one day.

Yesterday was Scott's birthday and I almost forgot it completely! I managed to pull it off by making his favorite cake and one of his favorite dinners - and got him a couple of movies. I'm not sure how long I get to use the "Dead Dad" excuse, but it worked for now.

On the upside of things - the grief diet is good, though eating as much fast food as we've been eating can't be good in the long run. And I'm getting into the office earlier, since I can't sleep much.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - I'll get back to reading and commenting on blogs (I miss you all!) and twitter as well. As everyone keeps telling me, it's all just a matter of time.

Sorry for the big bunch of randomness, but it seems to be par for the course lately.

Current Music: I'm watching the debate, which is as depressing as this post.