Another Year Older and Deeper in Debt

Yep, it's that time of year again, well almost - my birthday is tomorrow.

Remember when birthdays were a magical day? There were presents, balloons, a cake with candles (maybe a pony if you were lucky). What happened to that, why do adult birthdays have to be just like any other day? It seems like once you get past those milestone birthdays of 16, 18 and 21 adult birthdays are pretty much just another reminder that you are getting older.

And this one is going to be particularly tough - this will be my very first birthday with out my Dad. I'd never really thought about it but there are only two people (well, one now) that have been part of my life for every one of my birthdays. Sure I have aunts and uncles, and my sister has been around just two years less - but it's just not the same.

Right now the thought of having a birthday tomorrow makes me want to crawl into bed and cry for days on end. All my friends have been super nice, calls and cards and birthday wishes - but the thought of tomorrow coming is absolutely devastating. I know Scott is worried, but I haven't told him what's going on in my head - I don't want to get into that with him right now.

I've decided to take tomorrow off - the day is already going to be miserable enough, I don't need to make it worse by going to work. But I really don't know what to do with myself. Should I go do something interesting, go to a museum an art gallery (do they even have those here?) or maybe I go to a mall and spend sometime window shopping (because even though I am about to be a year older I'm really doing my best to stay out of debt). Perhaps I'll go get a mani-pedi and get my hair done.

One way or the other, I think that I'll be spending it quietly. And part of the time will be alone, and that's ok.

Current Music: February Air - Lights