Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Any Port In A Storm

I was driving a lot today - I had a bunch of things to do for clients, so I figured I'd get it all done at once. But I was feeling a bit lost, a bit disconnected, missing people and places long gone.

As I drove, I passed a number of different cemeteries, and "Memorial Parks" - it got me thinking about the fact that my Grandmother is buried so far away. I thought about the fact that I couldn't stop and sit by her grave and talk to her, I couldn't tell her what's new or anything that was going on with me. Then I thought, well why do I have to be there - why can't I just pull into any of these cemeteries - will any "body" do? Why do we feel the need to sit by "our person" - when we know that they aren't really there, just what is left of them?

So I tried it - I parked and sat on a bench and thought about all those people, pets and places that I don't get to see, or talk to, or go to. And I talked to those random people there instead of my people - and it was ok. In fact in some ways it was better.

I could tell those folks lying there all about how I miss being a little kid hanging out with my Grandmother, or how I wish I had known my Grandfather better. I told them all about how I think of and miss my friends that died of cancer. I told them how I miss all those pets that made my life a better place and are gone now. They learned about all the friends that I left behind when I moved and how I miss the place I grew up and lived for so many years. And it was nice.

Maybe I'll get a chance to go and talk to my people soon, but for now these people will do.

Current Music: Eulogy - The Hereafter


Bronwyn said...

I have never thought of that. How incredibly smart and a lettle heartbreaking. My mom is buried* quite far away and I never get to visit her. I should just go somewhere and visit someone.

(*I wrote "curried" at first... that would be awkward)

for a different kind of girl said...

I think this is a beautiful idea, and even though the memorials you're around are not those of people you know, I'd have to think that some are for people who have no one there for them anymore, so maybe, even though your thoughts may be on those close to you, you're doing a kindness for them.

My grandma has been gone nearly 4 years, and I still have her phone number programmed in my cell phone. Every once in awhile, I dial it, just to hear it ring, then I talk with her as I go about my day.

mcgee said...

I recently lost my grandfather, and he is buried all the way across the country on the east coast. I too often wish I could stop by his grave to talk to him. Thanks for the inspiration...I may have to try it myself.

Nilsa S. said...

I think it's nice you did that. There are a lot of people buried without anyone to visit. Near or far. You're kind for filling the gap.

kimmyk said...

i think you did a great thing not only for yourself but for the spirit of those you sat around.

i'm sure it's been a while since some of them had a visitor.

good for you.

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